Faith in Us

12.

Well, to put a long story short, Chris ended up getting what he wanted. After a few weeks of persuading, Chris managed to get Robert to agree to go to the studio. However , for the moment it was just Robert and lol. Robert didn’t really want to make a big deal about it- he didn’t want it getting out that he was getting abc to the studio after everything went to shit.

So now, Robert sat in the familiar studio he had spent many torturous hours in once more, tapping his pencil against his notebook before letting out a small sigh. He felt like there was some kind of block inside his head- he just didn’t feel like writing more depressing songs about how everything was shit and how horrible he felt. He didn’t want to relive those days, this is why he wanted to take a break and why he WAS taking a break.

“Having trouble?” lol asked, taking a seat next to robert. Things had gotten better between the two; things were not as awkward anymore after they talked. Robert sighed softly, “i don't know… i just- i don't feel like writing any more dark music… i want to change.'' Robert said, sounding defeated. 

“Then… write something happy?” lol said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Robert took in a breath, about to say that it wasn’t that easy until he was suddenly struck with an idea. “Wait- I think you’re right…” Robert said, turning to his notebook once more and scribbling down the words that were swimming in his head. 

It had been so long since Robert had felt… inspired; so this was a good feeling. It felt like such a relief to be writing something other than doom and gloom; even if that was his normal go to. All of a sudden Robert was full of creativity again for the first time in months! It was a breath of fresh air he could already hear the song inside his head.

“Damn robert- struck with inspiration kuch?” lol chuckled, deciding to leave rob alone so he could focus on his lyrics. Instead, he went to smoke out on the small porch outside where Chris was talking on the phone with someone. Lol leaned against the railing, letting out a huff before lighting his cigarette.''who are you chatting to?” lol asked, eyeing chris.

“I’m talking to pork- and those other blokes that joined us at the pub the other night. I want to try and get Robert back into the swing of things, you know I think it would be good for him- and for everyone if we just move on from the past and start over.'' Chris said, glancing at lol before turning away and returning to his phone conversation.

Lol sat for a second, wondering how chris even managed to get a hold of porl’s phone number in he first place. The idea of being in a band with Robert ocne more felt exciting, however lol wasn’t going to push anything. If it was meant to happen then it will…

~~~~

Robert placed down his guitar, the heels in his head turning as he thought up a melody. Robert had called Mary and told her that he would be late getting home tonight; he mostly spent his time at her place now.  Robert stretched his arms over his head, groaning as his tense muscles stretched out.

Robert scratched his head before turning to lol, “are you hungry?” Robert asked, feeling a bit peckish.

“Yeah- I could eat… you want to get taken away?” lol said, already reaching for the telephone.

“No- i’d rather sit and eat. Wanted to talk more about the song.. Know any good places?” Robert said, feeling oddly lighthearted. Writing something other than what he normally writes was a breath of fresh air. A much needed one at that.

Lol thought for a moment before shrugging, “well, there is that diner down the street if you want to get a quick bite there.” lol said, pushing himself to stand. Robert squinted his eyes, trying to remember that specific diner before simply nodding his head.

“Alright, let me grab my coat.” Robert said.

The walk to the diner was short, and the two men chatted amongst each other quietly. When they arrived they took a booth and huddled inside of it, not wanting to be seen or bothered too much. It was lunch time, so the diner was decently busy; but not enough to where it would become annoying. 

“What can I get you?” the soft spoken waitress asked, wanting to get this done over with so she could go home. “Erm, could I get fish and chips please?” Robert said softly, “and a water..” he finished, fiddling with his hands.

“I’ll have the same please.” lol said, too lazy to think of something original. The waitress nodded her head, “alright, I'll bring that right out.” she said before walking away. Robert sighed softly, sometimes he would still become anxious around people. He was getting better though, it happened less often now.

“So, you notice that Chris is trying to get the cure started again?” lol asked, chewing on his nails mindlessly. Robert wasn’t stupid, he knew chris well. 

“Yeah I noticed..” Robert said softly, his eyes lowering to the table.

“What do you think about it?” lol asked seriously, knowing that if the cure WAS going to return, it would have to be on robert’s move. Rober Was the leader, even if Robert never admitted it.  He just brought everyone together, in his weird charismatic way.

Robert was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. “Honestly… i'm still unsure… the last time the cure was together, everything went wrong; nothing went the way i wanted to and i just… felt so low, i don't think i can ever do something like that again.” robert said honestly, “and simon’s gone… he was a staple of the cure; i don't know if the cure can exist without him, as much as i hate to say it.'' Robert said, a bitter tone rising in his voice.

Robert set his jaw, forcing himself to relax. “I understand… But, I don't think you should let that stop you or hold you back, you know? Just because Simon isn;t here doesn't mean the cure can't still exist- it’s his loss! He was an ass, remember?” 

“But so was I lol… I just don't know if I can think about it, but… I'll consider it if you’re still in it..''Robert said, a small smile appearing on his face as he looked at his friend. Lol scoffed, a playful grin resting on his face.

“Of course I'm still am idiot.” lol said, leaning back against the booth. Robert’s smile grew a little before suddenly his food was placed in front of him and his hunger took over his mind. Robert thanked the waitress before starting to eat, being mindful not to eat like a complete slob. Mary tended to get on to him about his poor table manners.

Robert was glad to still have lol as a friend, however it was still painful to think about what happened with simon. Robert didn’t think he would ever be able to face Simon again after the shit that happened between them. What started as a refreshing friendship turned into something vile- something that should have never happened….

Robert sighed softly and whipped his mouth, heart aching. No matter how much he tried to move on, Simon always seemed to linger in his mind. Even when things were starting to move forward.