𝘰𝘩 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭 // 𝘥.𝘸

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

⁂

𝘬𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘢 𝘦.

     I tried to stop thinking about him. I tried to stop thinking about how once upon a time we were  together. Months have gone by, I've been working, painting, I just needed my head to be distracted from him, even then it wouldn't work. I couldn't stop thinking about how he cried in my arms. The words 'don't leave me' stained my brained.

Mary tried talking to me, tried getting me to go to parties but I just couldn't. I would think of him. Parties were his thing, getting drunk or just walk around with his arm around my waist showing me off like a prize.

I went to Rose a few times but she didn't give me much advise, she said and I quote "drop the damn boy already lord, it's been more the 2 years? I'm not sure but forget about him already" that didn't really help.

I tried with Hank but he just talked about how real men go to war a fight for their country so that really wasn't a good help.

Marty is mostly the person who I couldn't stop talking to, the oldest of the 3, he told me to just let my heart do what it wants to do or else I'll never be happy. I know he's right but I couldn't cause Dallas anymore pain. It would hurt both of us even more.

I would catch Sodapop at the flea market here and there. He always tried to talk to me, make me crack a smile, he wanted me to be happy but he knew it wasn't easily for me. At the flea market we would get some fruits or ice cream then just sit down and talk, we talked until we couldn't anymore. He's a great guy but he knows he's not for me. We're just friends.

Today I wanted the day to be different, that being said because it's the end of summer and it's almost fall I'm going to go to the lake. I haven't been to lake since....I was with him. God, everything is just him.

       I put my hair in bun letting two pieces of my curtain bangs fall on my face. I didn't add make up today, I was going to the lake I didn't want it to wash off.

      I wore a yellow strap less bikini, it was new and I thought today was a good day to try it out. I even wore a long yellow dress that had red flowers patterned all over it. I guess today is just a yellow day.

         I grabbed my tote bag as usual and put in a towel and made myself some food to eat there. Put in my sketch book, a book, a note book,  and pencils of course.

        Today is going to be amazing. It's going to be perfect, just me the water and the trees. Nature. I got in my beetle and drove happily to the lake, with music and all.

      

        I set my things down and made everything looked perfect before I went inside the water. I didn't want to go inside immediately so I just started sketching what was on my mind.

       After a while of sketching....well I couldn't sketch. I pressed the pencil down on the paper but nothing came to mind. Just him. I can't sketch him! That'll look like an obsession if I did. I shook my head trying to clear him out of my mind.

      We broke up. We broke up. We broke up.

      I tried reading, nothing. My mind would wander and I would loose the sentence I was on. I shut my book annoyed at the fact that I couldn't do anything. A nice cold swim can refresh my mind. I mean after all it was about 111 degrees outside.

     I slipped off the beautiful long dress and walked towards the water, i carefully dipped one of my feet in but quickly took it away cause of how cold it was.