𝘰𝘩 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭 // 𝘥.𝘸

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

⁂
𝘥𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘴 𝘸.

"Dal you okay man?" Two-bit asked me as I sat on the couch in the Curtis house. I was drunk. I drank all the liquor in my house, all of it.

"I'm fine" I sighed to myself thinking about how happy Khai was when she was with me, but she doesn't know. She doesn't know what I did so wrong. 

       Steve and Sodapop came into the house from work. They were laughing and talking. Were, past tense. "What happened to you?" Steve chuckled sitting on the couch. 

      "I shouldn't have gone to that fucking strip club man-I shouldn't have fucking gone! I told you! I told you I didn't wanna go!"

"Hey! It's not my problem! You are the one that was lip smacking with the stripper then getting down and dirty. You did that not me! Don't blame me!" We we're both ready to just punch the shit out of each other but we both know fighting won't do shit. "Plus strippers aren't allowed to sleep with people, they do what they want but the rule is no sleeping around, that's why we got kicked out dumbass"

"I knew the broad. I knew her-I've been with her before and I didn't expect her to still be working there." Running my hand through my hair I stood up to grab another beer.

"Did you tell her?" Johnny asked me

"Tell who? The skank I had a girlfriend yes, yes I fucking did"

"No Dal, did you tell Khai?" Sodapop asked me genuinely worried about her. I shook my head sitting down. "Dal you have to-"

"I can't tell her! I can't break her heart again! I can't do that to her man, she'll break. She already lost Marty, if she looses me she won't fucking be the same. I did that once, I broke her heart by cheating on her, you saw how that turned out."

"You can't lie to her Dal, she-"

"She's happy! She's fucking happy! Let he be happy!" I was yelling loudly at this point. My voice was probably heard in every room in the house.

I felt my eye water-I fucking hate feelings sometimes. I hate crying, I don't cry. I hate it. "She's happy. I need her happy" I looked down at the ground, closing my eyes and saw her. She was smiling and laughing. She's happy.

"She's living in a lie"

"It's not a lie if I still love her, I do still love her"

"Dal, you're waking up each morning to the fact that you cheated on her and that if she finds out it's over." I wish Sodapop wasn't so wise with words.

I looked at him "I was drunk! I was wasted! I didn't think"

"Who knows maybe she'll forgive you?" Two shrugged as if he knew much pain I've caused her.

"She won't, and don't say 'you don't know that' well I fucking do! I shattered her to pieces, I fucked up her life! Her friends hate me because of what I did to her. You think she'll forgive me for cheating-again. No she won't."

"But you don't-"

"I KNOW HER-she'll look at me in the eyes and her big brown eyes will be sad and be fucking spilling out with tears. She sensitive she ain't a skank she ain't dumb! She knows when someone fucks up." I lit a cigarette, putting it between my lips trying to relax.

"She'll find out sooner or later" Steve mumbled breaking the silence.

"I choose later" I blew the smoke, leaning back into the couch. "I'm going home, this ain't helping" I got up and walked out.

All I could think about as I drove home was
I can't hurt her. I can't see her cry. She can't find out ever.

I love her too much to break her heart.