In your arms

Chapter 17: walk around the world

Emily's POV:

I get a text from James telling me to meet him at his house as soon as possible so I grab my car keys and bag before running out to my car. For James, the don't even worry about it one, his message seemed pretty urgent and knowing that yesterday he was concerned on where Riley had gone since no one had seen her since Thursday or Friday I couldn't help but jump into action and immediately drive over.

When I pull up I can see James looking through the window at the top floor before disappearing into the room he's in. I run up to the door and hear faint footsteps from inside as he rushes around. He soon opens up the door in joggers and a hoodie and I push past him and walk to the kitchen. I need coffee to get through this. I already have a bad feeling.

While rummaging around the kitchen for a short while before I find the mugs I make myself some coffee while James walks in and leans against the island looking stressed as ever.

"Right. What did you need me for?" I say bringing the mug to my lips. He lets out a big sigh before explaining what happened. His voice cracks as he makes his way through each part of the event and whenever 'Alfie' was mentioned it would be followed by a frustrated sigh. I listen intently while I feel my heart being split into two when I learn where Riley is. Though apart of me feels angry as he explains that there getting married. How could she do that to James?

"So your telling me. That you came home and found a note, from Riley, saying that she's gone and you look on the tv to see a news report on them before they then announce there getting married?" I clarify while trying to wrap my head around the massive spill he's thrown across over to me. He nods slowly before walking around the island and grabbing a cub that has 'the best boyfriend Eva' written on it in cursive. He makes himself a coffee while I try process the situation before thinking out loud.

"I can't believe she would do that to you, say yes to another guys marriage proposal after he clearly abused and assaulted her, that doesn't sound like something she would do" I shake my head. James had pointed out to me that he saw cuts and bruises on her arms and legs and after that incident I saw at the studio a few days ago it doesn't surprise me. I can see James' eyes starting to fill up with tears but he tries to hold them back the best he can.

"That was what I thought but then, like you said, it's not something she would do. So now I'm wondering if she really had the choice of marrying him" you can tell by his voice that the more he talks about it the more he wants to cry. I bet it's hard for him to think that his 'girlfriend', air quotes because we don't know if she's moved on fully or not, is off in another country planning a wedding.

James stops again while placing the cup on the island. I see him look down at the writing and one blink causes all the tears he had previously pushed back came flooding out. I walk over to him and pull him in for a hug. I he soon returns the hug while I try calm him down.

"James I'm sure there's a bigger explanation somewhere. We just need to find it" I soothe before I pull away. He wipes away the tears while I stand back and try think of a solution.
"Do you know if there's anyway we can find the report?" I say after a while of silence. He looks curiously at me before nodding. "Yes but why?" He asks while taking another sip of his drink. I don't reply back but instead I pull out my phone and open YouTube. Surely it must have been put on there.

"What are you doing?" He questions me again while walking behind me so he can see the screen to. "I've already watched it, I don't understand why-" he starts before I cut him off.

"Well knowing you you probably didn't check every little detail. Hold up give me a minute" I tell him and I scan through each pixel. He makes an over dramatic shocked expression as I said that but he then stands back to give me space.

I spend a while staring at my phone screen, the scene is almost sickening as I see the scratches on her skin. I can also see that her smile seems forced, to forced, it stands out to me quite a bit. While pausing and unpausing it and examining every movement. As they mention the wedding for the first time I can see Riley chokes on her water. This confused me because if she knew about the wedding then why is she so shocked. Unless she didn't know. Maybe we're missing something. I trace my mind back to the scene I had saw when I walked into the studio last week and how scared and clearly frightened my sister was. Soon my mind clicks and I just know that she didn't agree to any of this.

"James, I don't think that she choose to agree with any of this" I sigh after a while. He throws me a puzzled look and I shove the phone in his hands and press play on the video. "Look, see she chocked clearly at the shock" I point out but he still looks confused.

"What are you talking about?" He says while giving me back the phone. His voice seems to be colder than normal but I brush it off because I know he's mad at the situation. And I'm pretty sure he still thinks that Riley agreed to this. But hopefully I can change his mind. "James look at her face. I don't think she knew anything about this. Cant u see?" He looks back at the phone and after a while I think he starts to believe me. I think the last reaction was his defensive walls reacting for him were as this seems more like James. He has seemed to calm down a little

"Ok so we've work out that she had no choice on the marriage part. But that's it we've got nothing" he sighs while throwing his hands up to his forehead. I close down my phone and put it in my back pocket. I push a strand of hair behind my ear while thinking of ways to put this problem right. There's no way I'm living my sister up there with him.

"Ugh, this is useless I give up! I'm done with this" he shouts suddenly after moments of silence. He walks into the living room and flops down onto the sofa with tears in his eyes. I follow him into the room and sit on the floor in front of him.

"Look James, I know this is hard. Trust me I know how you feel but you have to believe me that I don't think she had the choice. She loves you James and always has, ya at some stage of your relationship I didn't think that you two where a good match, but know I can see that you to are made for each other she talks about you non stop" I reassure him he moves his hands away from his face but his tears are still flowing uncontrollably before he try's to form a sentence.

"I just can't help but picture what's happening to her right now. She's probably in pain, physical pain, and I'm not there to protect her. That's my job to make sure she's safe but I can't find a way of being there for her. She won't reply to my messages and I just. Ugh. I don't know what to do Em" he spills out what's been on his mind and I rub my hand up and down his arm while he talks. I listen intently as he blames himself until I stop him.

"James this is not your fault-"

"But it is. If I hadn't of left I could of prevented this or when he walked into the studio I should of acted on my gut feeling. But I didn't. Know she's hurting and it's all because of me" he cuts me off as he sits up. I hate that he's blaming himself for this, the only person who is to blame for all this is Alfie, James hasn't done anything wrong. Though when I try explain that he just denies it.

Guilt is one of the worst things anyone can feel. It's also one of the only thing that people can't get rid of either. It convinces your brain what it wants you to think and you soon believe it. It consumes you and numbs all your other emotions so you only feel the guilt that probably isn't even your fault. It drags you to the edge of cliffs until it finally pushes you off. It pulls you in before stabbing you in the back. It keeps you up at night as you think about all you mistakes and keeps you on the verge of tears. Nothing and no one can break the trance it puts you under if you let it. It soon pulls you in to deep so you can't even see a spot of land. It won't stop until your practically ripping yourself apart piece by piece. It has no limits.

"James we will figure this out. No matter whole long it takes, we will get Riley back. We can't give up even if we have to walk around the world our selfs. Ok?" I promise as I pull him up to his feet. He wipes away his tears from his face before nodding. I pat his shoulder before hugging him. We then sit down and consider different ways of getting Riley back home.