In your arms

Chapter 25: time to stand

Riley's POV:

My life seems to be running in a loop. Nothing ever changes. I wake up in the same state of mind, tired and numb, I then go down to the dinning and barely touch my food. Most of the time the morning consists of my throwing up here and there. And the rest of the day is full of interviews and tv shows. And near the end it seems to be 'look at what you did wrong today' part of the day. Even if I hadn't even realised he finds a way of putting me down. I have gotten so used to the pattern that is doesn't effect me during the day, only in the early hours of the morning, but even then it does hit as hard as it used to. I guess I've grown to the pain.

Today marks ruffly around a month since I was dragged up here. The time feels like it's gone so fast yet so slow. I've started gaining a bit of a baby bump but ever since the news came out I haven't had to hide It. Alfies still convinced that it's his which is keeping me out of more trouble. All though I don't know if James knows it's his. I haven't told him and the only people I told where Emily and Michelle but I told them not to blurt it out. So I honestly have no clue. I just hope that it hasn't changed there minds of trying to get me home.

"The designer should be here in a few minutes" Alfie mumbles slightly. He's sat on the end of the bed while typing something on his phone. Not that I care. I nod in agreement as I hear a knock coming from the door.

This is the second time I've seen Steph but this time it seems a bit weird. The last time we had seen each other we shared a quick smile as Alfie left the room and I was actually able to feel emotions again as we talked about nothing and everything. But as soon as she walks into the bedroom she just walks in blankly before immediately working on the dress.

"Hey Steph!" I try loosen the tension that has started to form. "Hi" her voice seems colder than usual which makes me question why she's so down.

"What's up?" I start before getting interrupted almost immediately. "How could you do that Riley!" She practically yells. I take a step back and shoot her a confused look. Being accused of things doesn't effect me much now but I just don't see how all of a sudden she's mad at me.

"That! How could you..." she motions to my bump before looking me dead in the eyes. The anger she seems to radiate hits me pretty deep but then I try to tell myself that it's most likely because no one told her. Her angry expression turns to confusion as I throw my hand up to my head and let a small awkward laugh escape.

"Steph... it's James's you idiot" I run my hand through my hair as I watch her mood change instantly. "Omg! I'm so so sorry Ri. I had no idea" she apologies while pulling me in for a hug.

"No need to apologies it's ok" I reassure her as she pulls back. We talk for a while and she gets the stuff ready for the dress, in which I hope I don't use.

Steph's shown me pickers of what the design for the dress is going to be and if I'm being honest it's not my style at all. Not that I had a say in the design to start with anyway, but it's just very basic. It's clean white made with all silk, the skirt just goes below my knees and the sleeves as down to around my elbow. It's pretty bland and has no life In it.

After our session time ends I watch Steph walk out and immediately Alfie walks in. My heart skips a beat as the thought of him hearing the conversation we had. But instead of talking to me he goes back on his phone and doesn't look up at me once. I let out a sigh of relief and walk into the bathroom to clean my face up a little, As well as getting changed.

"So, Steph huh" I jump at the sudden conversation. Oh shit, I walk into the bedroom in jeans and a black shirt. He heard the conversation. I feel my heart beat race and a wave of anxiety hits me. "What?" I ask pretending to seem clueless, tho he doesn't take any of it, he jumps off of the bed and turn to face me.

"Your friend. The girl who just left" he has that bitterness in his voice and I just know depending on how much he heard. I won't live it down. I run my hand through my hair as I try let out an awkward laugh. "I have no idea what your talking about" my heads running around looking for a way out but I can't find one.

"Don't play dumb Princess" I starts to walk over to me while telling me what he heard. "I heard the whole conversation. I'm not an idiot" I chew the inside of my cheeks as I try convince him that it's not what it seems like. It doesn't work and he asks the most dreaded questions.

"I think we should do a DNA paternity test" I feel my heart stop as the words fall out. There is no way I'm doing that. I can't, I'll be putting this baby in danger. If he finds out then god knows what will happen. He steps closer and our nose are just about touching yet I still don't answer. I just shake me head which causes his anger to shoot me dead.

"I've already started getting it booked. And I don't get why your so worried princess, if the baby's mine there shouldn't be an issue. So is there anything you want to tell me now?"

I only have to ways of getting through this, yet neither will end well, I can either tell him now and then I won't have to do the test. Or i would have to go through the test which will then tell him it isn't his. Both ways will most likely end with some form of pain. I have already been placed in the simulation and there isn't an exit. Both my options will give the same information away in the end but do I choose the option that gets it over and done with quicker or the option that makes me wait and sit in my own anxieties but it will give me more time to try run.

"Test it is" he says while walking over to the bedroom door. Telling him now would mean that everything will be over sooner rather than later and the test will probably be spread world wide. There are so many pros and cons about this situation but I don't really want to be known as 'a girl who cheated on a prince'.

"It's not your baby..." I quietly blurt out. This is the best thing to do. But as I speak I regret it almost instantly. What have I done. There's no going back now. "What?" His cold voice reply's as he turns around to face me. "I said... it's not yours" my voice raises to a more normal volume, I've done it now might, I'll take the hits for this.

"Well who's is it? Let me guess, James's"  he mocks. I feel the emotions I've been missing these pass few months slowly boil up inside of me. The whole time I've been here I've been trapped inside and unable to fight back. I guess this was the final straw.

"Yes it is" I cross my arms and force myself to stand up for myself, which makes him seem more mad. If that's even possible. "You bitch!" He shouts at me. I push back my worries as far as I can and let the anger take control.

"I didn't expect it! I didn't plan it or anything" I yell back. He's shocked at why I've suddenly started talking back, in his case I guess no one ever really talks back to him. My head is screaming at me to stop but my hearts telling me to stand up for myself. I'm done thinking. I just need to put my foot down.

"Your such a slut! You knew that you were coming here!" He screams out. "So im a slut for carrying my boyfriends baby? And I never wanted to come here in the first place you forced me!" As the word boyfriend ships his face turns bright red. It's like I suddenly regret my choices when he walks over to me and slaps me across the face. "He's not your boyfriend now! He's not even here! Can't believe you would still want that dick instead of what you have here" he rolls his eyes but before he can continue i cut him off as my emotions come in to play.

"I would choose James over this any day! Do you think I would rather be abused here or be with him and my family in Ontario! The only reason im here is because I don't have a choose if I want to protect him!"

I lose control off myself completely as my morning sickness seems to kick in giving me a hint of nausea. I feel my vision going blurry and my head starts to scream in pain. I feel myself getting tossed down on the floor which causes me vision to go instantly. I here muffled shouts until they slowly get drowned out. I can't see or hear anything but I feel as if someone had punched me right in the stomach before I completely fainted. Feeling nothing at all.