Underneath the clouds

XVIII

"Maybe the reason he won't test it on anybody is because he actually considers human health." Kimberly suggested. "Maybe..." Jolin had a finger to her chin, thinking intently. "Wait, what are we talking about?" Bree asked. Kimberly started to explain, and Jolin half listened as she looked at her cookie. Chocolate seemed to melt off of the surface, coating Jolin's warm fingers.
"Wait! Jolin." Bree abruptly spoke. Martin hummed in response. "You didn't tell me your dad was a scientist!"
"I didn't?" Bree shook her head. "No!"
"Oh. Well," she shrugged staring off into the distance. Imitating explosions under her breath, Jolin imagined about a battle field. She was the captain, and the leader who led the attacks. That imaginative power gave her comfort, letting her know that she had some control someplace. Her cousin and Brianna began to talk, passing the time of the lunch period.
Eventually, Jolin was out of the lunchroom, and flying through the periods. The sky was a deep grey, and had a breeze blowing through the streets. She knew the busses were there for a reason, but for the past two weeks she had insisted on walking an hour to get home. Jolin had a valid excuse for it. She was attending after school clubs. They believed her, and she got away with walking. It was a nice change, so now she was left alone with her thoughts, and imagination. Sometimes she'd even listen to music while walking, humming to the sound of the beat, walking in unison with the vibrations. Sometimes she'd take a break from imagining that she was the leader of a civil war, and she'd skip down the streets humming to different songs. Her personal favorite:
Sex With a Ghost by Teddy Hyde.
Refrained from blurting out the lyrics as they appeared in her ears, she hummed along to the piano as every second was a second closer to home. The world seemed to change before her eyes, well, maybe her view on the world. Not that Mark had turned her into this, but she could always feel it. Deep in her mind, this was probably the person she always was. An unfeeling sociopath. Nowadays, her face was always at a resting point, a frown and a seemingly angry expression. This made her seem unapproachable. Which she was fine with, she had no desire to talk to new people.
She turned on her street, quietly singing along to the song. The hour walk helped her clear her mind, and work off pent up energy, even though, she didn't feel anything anymore. Passing her neighbors houses, she felt the tired start to set into her legs, the sore start to occur in the soles of her feet. Opening the door, she set her bag down, slipping her shoes off. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, random and some of those random thoughts were attached to other random thoughts, creating a tree of unanswered questions, and sometimes irrelevant answers.
Am I sadistic?
Narcissistic?
Sociopathic?
This was normal now, although it did raise a few drops of concern, she didn't bother. Whatever was wrong with her, she was sure it couldn't be fix. So why bother?
Moping, Jolin walked up the stairs. It was an unusual sight for her to see that both of her parents weren't home. At least one of them always was. Jolin was alone and bored.  Just her thoughts and her music to keep her company. Better make the most of it. Another week flew by, to her surprise the school year was ending, and ending fast. Now it was Friday, a dark and gloomy Friday. With no homework, and no motivation to do any of her chores, she slumped on her bed. Yawning made a few tears come to her eyes, which flew out of her eyes when she blinked and catapulted herself back. After a few hours had gone by, with no show of her parents, she began to grow restless, a deep voice inside her head telling her to text them.

Jolin: hey are you guys almost home

No answer. She started to panic, frantically typing, before coming to a pause. Jolin saw the little speech bubble, which meant one of them was texting back.

Mom: Yes. We're almost home, why?"

Jolin: i was wondering where you went

Mom: We just went to go get some groceries.

Jolin: oh okay

She could feel the stress being lifted from her chest. Anxiety was evaporating into the air, as she continued to lay on her bed. The bed caressed her back, soothing her mind to a sleep.

Now it was dark, and her ears had a weird soreness, probably from the headphones. Sitting up, Jolin groaned,  rubbing her face. Hopefully she didn't miss dinner. It was 7:42. The darkness didn't help with her tired, it begged her to lay back down, and to go back to sleep, promising her it would shelter her from the sunlight. The dark never really kept its promises. Sometimes it promised her rest, and gave her nightmares. Sometimes it would promise her a peaceful sleep, only to take away the sleep, and give her a restless night.
The darkness always promised something but at a price, sometimes it wasn't fair, and other times it was. Opening the door, and stepping down the hallway, the smell of Alfredo sauce hit her. Mouth watering, and heart pounding she made her way down stairs, looking into the kitchen. Dinner was practically ready. "Hey mom." She turned around, still stirring the pot. "Oh hey, Jolin. I thought you'd sleep for a whole night." She didn't answer.  "You we're out like a light when we came home."
"Honestly, I'm still kinda tired." Jolin yawned. She may have been out like a light, but she felt like a shattered bulb now. "Is dinner almost ready?" Angelica hummed in response. "Almost." She nodded, fiddling with her hands, watching as she stirred the food.
Just get the food and go back upstairs to sleep.
Her body yearned to sit down, or even better lay down. She felt like her pillow was calling her.
Just wait... she's almost done.
Her mother started to cut tomatoes. Now she was getting impatient. Trying to blink away the tired only made it worse, instead of kicking it out, she invited it in. It took over, making her eyelids heavy. "Dinners ready!" Angelica announced. "Perfect..." Jolin muttered, being the first one to grab a plate.
Right on time...