Underneath the clouds

XVI

She heard the quiet knocking on her door, her skin was bumpy, as the cold air chilled her. Inside and out, Jolin felt hopeless, feeling that she should just die there. Opening the door was her mother, a worried look in her eye. She gasped seeing the red on top of her sheets. "Oh my god Jolin! Are you okay?" She felt she was no longer a person, just a numb scatter of bones, and a restless mind. Jolin didn't answer, instead she kept her eyes closed. Angelica shook her, watching as Jolin slowly opened her eyes. "Jolin Cru Martin... what happened?!" She saw the state of shock that was casted upon her mother's face. Looking down to her legs, and the scattered blood, she was reminded once again about what had happened yesterday. "Oh crap... I think I have my period." Jolin lied, resting her hands on her stomach. "Okay, honey... you're going to be okay... do you need anything?" Her chest ached, filling up the void of her mind with a deep sadness, that threatened to seep out of her eyes. Jolin just wanted to desperately hug her mother, to cry on her shoulder, and to tell her what had happened. Even if she told her, he'd find out, she was sure of it. "How about you just stay home today... that's a lot of blood." Jolin nodded, getting up to go and change her underwear. She knew herself that it wasn't her period, or anything of that nature. "None of that would have happened if I had just listened to Kimberly..." Jolin mumbled underneath her breath, changing out of her underwear. She plopped on her bed, staring deeply at the wall. This was her fault. Everything that had happened was her fault, and the reason she was raped was because she was too in love with Mark to see the red flags. Now, she would refuse to go to school, unless she knew for a fact that he wasn't there. For the first time... she felt deep despair, a voice in the back of her head saying things she wished she could block out.
But when she tried the voice to grow louder. Was this what it was like to be suicidal? The sadness seem to pool into every crack in her body, in every hole, turning into a great feeling of nothingness... deeper sadness than she could fathom. The day seemed to move along without a care, and yet the universe seemed to slow, as she stayed in her room.

The week blurred together, she was back in school but her health started to decrease. No longer did she care about appearance, or anything of that matter. The only feeling she could recognize was sadness and fear. Whenever someone would brush up against her, a state of fear she fled into. She knew only two people noticed it, and those two people were Bree and Kimberly. They haven't talked since the Christmas dinner.
Once, she was in the bathroom, quietly crying as she tears at her skin. The blue spot, every time she picked at it very dark liquid pooled out. Was this a disease? Did her father create a new kind of disease? She hoped it was fatal, Jolin needed to be relieved of the pain, taken out of the world. A quiet knock came from the outside of the stall, and Jolin recognized the voice. "Jolin... can you open the door?" Kimberly. Re-wrapping the bandage around the blue spot, and the blood, she twisted the lock. Kimberly and her locked eyes, seeing the fear flicker in her pupil. "Why are you crying in the stall?" Bree was around the corner, listening in on the conversation. Sniffling, she rubbed her nose. "I thought I was doing it quietly..." Guilt was like an arrow shot at her heart. Kimberly could feel the deep bruise it had cause on her heart. "Why are you crying?" She questioned. Thoughts swirled around her mind, like a violent whirlpool...
Should I tell her?
What would she do?
"It's just been a stressful week." Bree rounded the corner, slouching on the hard wall. Helping her up, Kimberly fixed her falling glasses. The three walked towards the doorway of the bathroom. Suddenly, Jolin resisted, staring fearfully as Mark walked by, a smirk on his face, a book in his hand. Kimberly looked at Bree with worry flickering in her different colored eyes.
She kept to herself, fiddling with the zipper on her black leather jacket, swishing her hair back and forth. Jolin stared down at the floor, the faint ping of pain radiating from her stomach. Bree stared after Mark, blindly grabbing the stressed girl's forearm. "Let's just go, or we'll be late." Jolin was in the middle of the two, being dragged down the hallway by both. Kimberly and Bree kept their eyes ahead, but their grip on Jolin's arms were sturdy and strong. The two held the solemn expression on their faces, Kimberly was just worried they were going to be late, but Brianna had a secured idea of what happened.
Even though, she prayed that wasn't the case, she would understand it. Because she was once in that situation.
Bree pushed the thought to the back of her mind, as they careened into the classroom. They were about to be late. Bree sat Jolin down whilst Kimberly went to sit down next to her. It was as if the two were nurses caring for a sick patient.

Despite the joyfulness of her father, she still felt empty, and even weirder... watched. Before long, the sun was down, and she was filled with anticipation. Her night terrors were nothing but a mere roller coaster ride for her now. Grown accustomed to it, she set her bed up for a comfortable sleep, unaware of the abundance of cars outside. It was definitely more than the usual number. The clear white snow reflected the light off of the moon, giving the night a slight daytime feeling, despite being a lot colder in the night. Jolin couldn't distinctively tell what the cars were, or how they were parked, but she noticed the outlines of the silhouettes which were created by the street lamp. Most of the cars that were left parked outside during the night were in their driveways, whereas these two cars were parked on the side of the road.
The fact that they were vans rose Jolin's suspicion, but she continued to carry on with the nightly routine. Her mind immediately started to jump to conclusions, were they being watched?
Stalked even? These thoughts made her grow restless, on top of the fact that she was already anxious, and full of fear. For hours she watched them, trying to see if anybody was in there, or if they would move. Soon it was the witching hour, and they still haven't moved, and not even a single second of activity seemed to be going on inside the vans. So... she decided to go to sleep, trying her best to wake up in the morning when the first light hit the earth. When she awoke, they were gone. Now that drove her insane, things were like this for the entire week, until the weekend, where it suddenly stopped. Whoever was in there, she thought, was watching her and her family.
And whoever it was, wasn't going to stop until they got what they wanted. And Jolin feared the worst.
Eventually, her suspicions had eased away, as months began to slip by, and the end of the school year was approaching, not fast, but at a moderate speed. The memory of her rape was fresh in her mind, but physically she thought she had healed, but mentally... she knew for a fact that it was still a deep cut. Not even close to closing up. While she was at her desk, tapping her pencil to the sound of the beat, which vibrated her headphones, she came up with a splendid idea. Well, maybe not splendid. "How about we pay Miss Brown a visit..."