Dance With the Father

My God, My Father

How do you see your father? What is he like? Is he a loving father? a protective father? an irresponsible father? a considerate father?

I have come across articles about how a father affects a child's perspective toward God. I also came across this idea from the Christian movie, "The Shack." The lead actor had a bad relationship with his father. He was physically and verbally abused by his father. This relationship affected how he viewed God, which is why during his encounter with God, He faced him as a woman — a mother.

Through the years I spent with my father, my views about him changed as well. When I was young, he was my provider. He provided my wants and needs. I do not remember a lot from my childhood, but I know he was a good father — my hero. During the years as an adolescent, it changed. I saw how quick-tempered my father was. I felt as if my mom and I were never his priority. We were never on top of his list. Nothing changed in my college years; it still was the same. He gave me the impression that I can never be open to him. His image was a strict father. I was pressured to always excel and do my best. I wanted to please him. I wanted to prove to him that I am good enough. As I joined the workforce, my father and mother became dependent on me. A bulk of our financial resources come from my salary. There were a lot of responsibilities hanging on my shoulders, so I felt the need to work harder. I pushed myself to the limits so I can provide my family a good life; a good life that we didn't get to experience back then.

Behind all these impressions that my father left me with, good or bad, I know that he loved me with all his heart.