Sam, July 2005
My days could now be broken up into three parts, which continued on a loop from sun up to sun down without change. The first part was when I spent time alone, staring at the wall as I listened to the nurses banter about their lives outside of the hospital. After five days of being cooped up in bed, with no release date in sight, this was one of my only sources of entertainment, it was like a soap opera that played out daily just outside of my room. So far I'd discovered that the female blonde nurse that did the early morning rounds was shagging a paediatric surgeon and a trauma surgeon with close calls of the two doctors meeting when a child was brought into the E.R a few nights ago, while the male nurse who administered the medication was in a rocky relationship with the brunette nurse who ran the nurses station, I'd hear them share fiery retorts at one another only to be making date plans hours later, it was hilarious to hear them squabble, knowing that they'd soon be swooning for each other again.
The second part of my day was when I was trapped in the room with my own doctors and they would bicker back and forward over what my treatment plan was to be. Dr Grimes wanted me to stay in London so that she could be the one to monitor my progress when I started strength training, once the cast comes off but my team doctor, Dr fritz, wanted me to return to Manchester so that I could still train with my team, hoping it would speed up my recovery time and have me back on the field sooner than Dr Grimes wanted.
They couldn't reach an agreement and as a result I was stuck here in limbo, unable to go home with Veronica, where I just desperately wanted to be right now, I had to stay in this tiny room until both parties reached an agreement, which didn't look like it would be happening any time soon.
The third part of my day was my favourite, it was when my girl would visit me. I could be having the shittest of days and she'd come into my room and light it up like sunshine, making me forget about anything else. Our time together was limited because she was spreading herself between visiting me and taking care of Kate and as much as I wished she could stay longer I never wanted to be greedy because I knew Kate needed her more right now.
Today Veronica arrived just after dawn was breaking, waking me from my dreamless sleep, not that I minded if it meant I got to wake up to the sight of her, I just wished it was in our own bed. She was wearing a black dress with heels, her hair was pulled back from her face, making her look so elegant and reminding me what today was, Alex's funeral.
Yesterday she had helped me by writing down what I wanted to say in my eulogy, which had been very hard for us both to get through without crying. Alex had been such an outstanding friend tool of us for so many years, he was patient and kind to everyone and I wanted my words to express who we lost wasn't just someone you'd pass on the street and forget, he was a man who made an impact in the life of everyone he met.
I was pissed that I wouldn't be released from my prison, even for a few hours, just to say goodbye to my friend, it was the only thing it seemed my doctors could agree on, that it was deemed to risky to my recovery to have me in a crowded room and risk my arm getting knocked or even bumped while it was still in the early stages of healing and no amount of arguing of how safe I'd be, how I'd protect my arm against harm, got me anywhere.
"It's like a circus out there baby, there's journos and photographers swimming outside the entrance to the hospital, just waiting for you to come out, I bet." Veronica says as she enters my room, she adjusts the blinds to allow some sunlight in before coming to sit beside me on my bed and placing a bag on the table.
