Veronica, November 2024
For the past two years, Sam and I had been positioned on an adoption waiting list. Every day we had clung to the hope that the phone would ring, that we'd be told that there was a child for us. We'd had multiple interviews and home visits, jumped through every single hoop that was thrown our way but still, each day would end without the call we so desperately wanted.
The decision to add to our family was not one we took lightly. There were a lot of factors to consider, with Claire being our number one concern. She was just a baby when we were first discussing a new addition so we had to weigh in how much of a change this would be not only to our lives but to hers as well. As an only child, she had our full attention but a new baby would shift that attention, sharing it among two. We always wanted to make sure that Claire knew that we loved her, that we were here for her wants and needs and that she wasn't being pushed aside.
Having been met with fertility struggles in the past, we also knew that falling pregnant naturally could take some time, which, at 41 years old, I didn't have time on my side. We considered going down the path of IVF once again, knowing we were once successful but it could take years to have another win and would be disruptive to our lives. Adoption was the only clear choice, we just never knew that it would take so long.
As the time stretches on, it became harder for me to suffocate my own paranoid thoughts of why we could be being passed over. Sam and I are now in our forties, we were no longer young and as energetic as we were in our twenties. We both work full time, with Sam coaching the Claremont High soccer team and me taking on the position of history teacher at the same school, Claire had adapted to childcare three days a week and loved spending the other two days with her grandparents, Nick and Aunty Celeste but maybe the agency didn't agree with arrangement for our daughter, maybe that's why they overlooked us for taking on another child?
Nothing was ever explained to either of us about why we were being over looked, we were just told that a child had to be the right fit, not just for them but for us as well. This made me question if my past was injuring our chances of adoption, although I had fully recovered my memory from the accident there was always a chance that another blow to the head could destroy my progress, maybe the agency saw me as a liability? An unfit mother?
Whatever the reason, I just had to get on with living, if I allowed this process of waiting to eat away at me then it would certainly consume my life. I was so grateful for everything I already had, my little family and if it was decided that it would only ever be Sam, Claire and I then I'd be perfectly fine with that, I had everything my heart could ever desire, I'd achieved my dreams and filled my world with love, it was more than what I ever considered possible for myself but still, the image of the little boy I'd seen, playing with Claire, made me believe that there was someone else that was meant to be part of our family.
It was a typical, warm, sunny, Tuesday afternoon, I was going over my year nine's assessment tasks that I had set the week before while enjoying my lunch hour with Sam, Penny and Lucas in the Claremont High staff room. Outside I could hear the noise of teenagers, laughing, shouting, playing, for all we knew they could be banding together to overthrow the school while we sat in here and ate our lunch.
My phone began to rang and when I looked at the screen I groaned, holding it up for Sam to see who was calling me.
"Let me guess, they've come up with some more hoops for us to jump through because granting us a child to raise would be like unleashing hell on earth." He mutters bitterly as I slide the bar across to answer the call.
He's not wrong to assume that the agency had more questions for us, it was what they seemed to only ever contact me about, setting up another interview to review our application.
