Old Money Madness

30. Rare Merlot on Campus Drive

"Get your alcoholic asses off my floor!" 

I could hear Scooty Booty groaning beside me. As I craked my eyes opened I notice that instead of staring up at the skylight in my room back home, I was staring into the eyes of the angry bartender who was holding a dated pocket watch and trying to shove it into my line of vision. 

"Hey, Cockster was it?" 

"What the fuck did you just call me?" 

"Sorry, I'm a little tipsy. Usually, my nicknames are better. Tell you what, once I drink some water and pass out on some dirty couch for a few hours, I'll come back and give you a steller one." 

"I called him beta-cuck last night Riv." Emily was trying to pull herself back up onto the barstool and I was trying my best to only see one tavern and all of its green gloried things. 

"That's right." My knees were trying their best to cave in, but with years of never fully controlling your body, you get used to fighting against gravity and pains throughout your limbs. "Tell you what, how about you call us a cab and I'll promise to not throw up on your pretty little wooden floor." 

"I highly doubt that." He crossed his arms over his chest. "There is a man outside here to come get you. Now leave my damn bar! It's two am don't you two have something better to be fucking up than the peaceful atmosphere and my decorative stools?" 

"Shit, you really call this an atmosphere?" I laughed while I stammered around on my titled feet reaching out from Em's hand. "I told you I can handle hard things and you just about dropped your granny pants." Maybe it was the high amounts of booze, but I started to cry at my own jokes. 

"Come on Riv, I need to sober up and so do you." Em hoisted one of my limp arms over her shoulder and wrapped her sweatshirt over my shoulders. She turned her head to the bartender one last time. "You need to work on your mixed drinks. If I wanted to taste a weak pussy drink, I'd eat out my roommate!" 

"Shh, you can tell him creepy jokes. That's how he got the bloody nose last night." I giggled. 

"Riv, let's go. I think I passed out thirty minutes before you and in that time you drank double what we did in the whole night. I still don't know how you aren't dead." 

"When you have lived the life I lead, very little physical things can kill you. Emotionally, I'm barely a person." 

"Okay, we aren't doing this whole 'I have trama and it's why I'm insane' right now. We'll talk in a few hours." 

Em carried us out onto the sidewalk. I could see the familiar black Cadalliac parked a few feet in front of us. Harry to the rescue as always. That guy really should get a raise. 

"Harry! You are an angel! How did you know Scooty Booty and I were here?" 

"I always pick you up at bars Miss. Just doing my duty." 

"Haha, did you hear that Scooty? He said 'duty.'" 

"I heard." Em shoved me into the back seat. "To Campus Drive." 

"Miss, I actually can't take directions from you. It needs to be from my Boss's mouth." 

Em slapped my face twice and lifted my head off the window. "Say it River." 

"What she said, Doxy." I could hear his voice in the distance, humming my name while the car spurred to life.

"Close enough." 

The tavern started to fade into the distance. I watched the moon pour its light onto my face as my whole body felt heavy and warm. "Sleep, my love." I could hear Dox's voice in my head as I leaned to my left, rested my head on a pair of slender shoulders, and succumbed to the booze.