Not Anymore II

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Silence. Well, almost silence - or so she thought. Everything around her was drowned out by the deathly sound piercing through her head. The screeching noise stabbing her. The ringing in her ears. All she could hear was that. Ringing. All she wanted was him, but she hated him too. Robert was the last person on earth Andy wanted to ever be near. Ever. But his arms were also the only place she wanted to be. Her legs began to shake as she buried her head further into her knees, trying to muffle the cries incase anyone walked past. She was sure the ringing was in her head. Absolutely sure of it - but she wasn't sure. Surely nobody else could hear it, right? But surely she couldn't be the only one with this pain in her head. She held her breath and counted, slowly. 1... 2... 3... 4... The racket bouncing around in her brain quietened slightly. 5... 6... 7... Silence. She could breathe again. Resting her head against the thin wooden door, all the thoughts came flooding back to her. She did care. She could never admit it though - not even to herself. She did love him too, but she really, really hated the man. There was one question though. She could hear it. She could feel it hovering over her head, bouncing around the room waiting to be asked. Her eyelids shut and the darkness appeared. It calmed her, the darkness did. Enough for her to think. To ask the question:
Does the love override the hate?
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"Hey Herrera!" A voice boomed through the wall. "Get out here, now. We need to talk."
That last part confused Andy. Whenever Maya used to speak to her, whenever she wanted to talk to her, it would always be 'we need to talk.' But ever since, when the captain needed to talk to her, it was always 'I need to talk to you.'
I. That was Bishop's favourite word, according to Andy. I. Because in Maya's perfect world, everything revolves around her. Nobody else gets a chance to earn anything they deserve before it would get ripped from right under their feet. Maya would be the only one with a chance. The only one that's important. The only one, the one and only. That's Maya.
Andy missed her friend. Before, the pair were inseparable.
They always said, 'Train together, team together.' But then the new captain came along, and it went downhill. It was always the world against Andy. It still was.
       "Andy, you in there?" Came the voice again. She was even more confused now. Andy, not Herrera or lieutenant. Andy. That was unheard of. Quickly, she stood up and checked her complexion in the mirror. She splashed some water on her face and scrubbed at it with a towel before opening the door.
"You wanted to see me captain." She spat at her boss.
"Nope, the captain doesn't want to see you." The blonde flicked her blue eyes up to Andy's, who raised an eyebrow.
"I do, Maya does." She continued.
Andy stayed silent, not moving until she felt a warm hand grasp her cold wrist, leading her along the corridor to the office in reception. The pair plonked down in their seats, Maya on the couch, Andy on the floor across from her.
"You know Herrera I think a chair might be more comfortable, but hey, don't take my word for it." She joked. To both of them, for a split second it almost felt like nothing had changed. For a second they had been reversed a year, back to the good times.
"I'm fine. So, friend. You wanted to talk to me. Talk." Maya could almost taste the bitterness of Andy's words, but brushed it off, trying to fight for their friendship.
"Well for starters, I didn't say that exactlyyy," she dragged out that last word, "but yeah, I do need to speak first." She smiled.
Andy nodded.
"I'm sorry. I just want to get this out of the way before we can really talk like we used to. I'm so sorry Andy. I am selfish and I stole what's yours. My idea of a perfect world is where I have everything, so I thought this job would make me feel whole. Complete. But I was wrong. I have the job now, which is all I've ever wanted for years, but by getting that, I lost the part of me that makes me, me. I lost you. I love you Andy, which is why I'm stepping down. We need this." Bishop stares into Andy's eyes, waiting. Praying for her to reply.
"Wow," The brunette chuckled, "just wow that is a whole lot of information to take in. I think I'm gonna need a minute."
"I don't want you to hate me anymore." Maya looked up into her brown eyes lovingly and hopefully.
"I never hated you Maya. I was mad. I am mad. I don't know if I am mad. But anyway, you don't need to step down- you can't. If you do, people are gonna think your weak. And you are NOT weak, so I'm not letting you."
"Andy I don't care anymore. I don't care if people think I'm weak. I care about you."
"No. You think if you step down Dixon's gonna enforce another woman as captain. No. I'm not letting you." Her words were short, yet straight to the point. She spoke facts too, which was what Maya needed to convince her. Cold, hard facts.
"Please Andy."
"No."
"Please."
"No. And for the record, when I make captain, it's not gonna be because my friend felt bad for me. It's gonna be because I earned it. Because I worked my ass off for it. Ok?"
"Andy you did earn it."
"I wasn't ready for it. You and I both know that."
"Andy."
Andy shrugged her shoulders at Maya.
"Your sure about this?" The blonde questioned, still worried about making the wrong decision.
"Positive." Andy replied.
"Thank-you for this." Maya's lips curves and she signalled for her friend to come and sit on the sofa beside her. Andy clambered up.
"So, what did you want to talk about then?" She questioned.
"Andy I know you, I work with you, I used to live with you. You think nobody can crack your code but I can. I see how you act, what you do. All that time you spend in the shower, alone in the lounge or locked in your bunk. Don't think I don't know what your doing. And the way you get so mad whenever he walks in, the way you leave as soon as you can and the way you look scared Andy. Nothing scares you. What did he do to you? How did he hurt you? Andy, you're tough as nails. Nobody has ever hurt you this bad, so you can't hide it from me anymore. You hate him, that I know for sure, and you know it too. But Andy, I don't want to ruin our friendship already just minutes after making up, so when I ask you this I am also asking you not to get mad at me. Okay?" She raised an eyebrow at her friend who breathed out.
"Okay." Andy said, already dreading the question she knew was about to be asked. She couldn't stop it, so she went along with it.
"I promise." She sighed.
"Thank-you." Maya said.
"Andy, are - are you..."
"God, spit it out Maya."
"Are you in love with our battalion chief?" She watched the colour drain from her face.
Andy's face went blank...

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