Random Crackfics 2.0

Shrek X Barney

Bold = Events from us

Italics = A/Ns

Shrek was was look after his beautiful swamp, until he saw someone. This someone was, the most handsome purple dinosaur he laid eyes on.The gorgeous dinosaur walked up to Shrek saying, "Oh, Hello! I was wondering if, you could help me out" the dinosaur said. Shrek shook his head, to get rid of his red face. He turned back and said,"Of course, what could I do to help a lovely dinosaur like you" as he went in and kissed the dinosaur's hand. The dinosaur turned red,"Wel--Well..I needed somewhere to stay and, wondering if you could help me.." Shrek eyes lit up with glee,"Of course! You could stay with me~" he said as he winked at the dinosaur.

This is where one of my other friends said we should make seg scene- warning smut :') also, where Rave starts writing

The brightly colored dinosaur turned more red,"Anyways...my name is Barney." Shrek lifted up and said,"Well my beautiful dinosaur my name is Shrek~" He opened his door for him,"Come in, come in."

"O-ok" Barny says as he walks in, the house smells like dirty swamp water but a nice hint of lavender. "So my sexy dino, what do you wanna do" Barny mind: NSBDBRBD HE JUST CALLED ME SEXY, OMG HE'S SO HOT! "u-um I don't know.. Do you h-have any w-wine?" "Ohh, so your that type of person huh, Kitty" Shrek says in a hot tone. "Well I got something for the both of us..maybe you can show me your dirty side"

Now this is the start of us alternating

Barney froze up,"E-Eh...N-Not like that! Its just..I-" Barney was cut of to Shrek pushing him up aganst a wall forcing his tounge in his mouth. (ps Don't do any of what Shrek is doing- it's not cool)

Barny struggles to escape, but the melts into the kiss. Their tongues fighting for dominance but of course, Shrek won licking and sucking Barny's tongue making him let out a soft moan "A-ah~" Shrek blushes, but smirks "A-Ah I'm so sor-" Barny was cut off by Shrek sucking his sensitive neck . Barny couldn't take it anymore and moaned all he wanted "M-mmmh ahh~"

Shrek quickly pushed the dinosaur to the bed, and found a collar and cuffs and put them on him. Shrek ripped off his (skin...? cloths...?)

Because Barny already had nothing, on Shrek kisses him down his neck onto his chest,"Barny baby, your nipples must be sensitive huh?" As Shrek sucks and licks Barny's nipples, barney yelped pleasure,"O-ohh~ Shrek a-ahh" Shrek loved his moans he needed more. Shrek started to scratch barny's inner thigh "AHH~ DADDY!"

Shrek saw Barney's tail and started to suck on it, while stroking Barney's hard member. Barney's moans filled the room which was music to Shrek's ears. Shrek took of his clothes and placed himself aligned with Barney's hard (pfft)✨magic stick✨ and took it all in.

Barny start to moan when Shrek was bouncing on him, he blushed at Shrek's member in front of him,"a-ahh master your member is s-so large.." This made Shrek more aggressive and he loved it. Without any warning Shrek shoves his staff into Barny's mouth "mm~ yeah suck harder slut" Barny loved these names and listen to his command.

Barney and Shrek came at the same time. Shrek lifted up off of Barney's member, and shoved his wand into barney. Barney yelped out in pleasure, as Shrek went at a ballistic speed pounding him. (BUT NO SERIOUSLY Don't force yourself into someone without warning or consent NOW CONTINUE)

Shrek positions them so Barny is riding him, Shrek starts kissing Barny's neck scratching his thighs. " ahh~ Shrek master a-ahh~" Barny was a moaning mess, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his tongue sticking out. This was the perfect opportunity to suck his delicious tongue. Things were getting hot there thighs slapping together "oh f-fuck master please please fuck me in the ass hard please I can't take it" "Your wish is my command slut~"

Shrek pushed Barney down and pulled his legs to his head as Barney's green tiped wand was basically pushed in his mouth. Shrek went harder saying,"Now suck your fucking cock whore." As Shrek pulled out of Barney

Shrek watches as he jerks off his own stick groaning in pleasure,"A-ahh master I'm gonna cum please!" Shrek slaps his ass,"your not Cumming until I do kitty~ " as Shrek plays with his balls and bows down to suck on Barny's " DADDY I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M GONNA CUM " "I- I am to let's cum together baby" As they both let out the hot white liquid barnys legs shaking " I'm don't done with you get baby "as Shrek lays backward on Barny stomach so that he's facing his dick and Shrek is facing barny's ...