Marshall, You're Not Alone (GxG)

Chapter 5

Standing in front of the mirror I felt the heartache from looking at my own body. My B-sized bra and underwear were the only thing I currently wore, exposing visible bones almost pushing against the skin and bruises scattered mostly around the belly.

James woke me up by violence, something I shouldn't but was used to. He's done so from twice to three times a week, just enough to never let me heal.

Touching the purple blood-filled bruise, I winced at the pain. This particular one was always the worst, as it just so happened to be his favorite spot to focus on when kicking and punching.

With time I learned to redirect those towards other places so it wouldn't get as bad, but it was easier said than done with a sharp almost paralyzing pain circling through my body. 

I was ugly.

Too skinny, bruised, I hated... No, I despised looking at my body, yet after each beating, I always had to check myself to ensure nothing was broken or too visible to the others.

The only thing I liked about myself were my eyes because whenever I looked into them, I felt an unexplainable force pulling me towards life. Almost as if quiet whispers were telling me to never give up.

Yes, it was odd and I didn't believe in any supernatural things or angels, however, this was just something I felt. Maybe my own willpower, or maybe something else.

After applying the medicine to my scars and bruises I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a plain grey shirt which I tucked inside. Completing it with a pair of small hoop earrings and a bunch of cheap necklaces I took my backpack and left for school.

I was running late, due to taking longer in the morning than usual, and so I didn't have the time to buy anything to eat. It sucked, but I was used to going hungry for longer hours.

Today was Friday, the second week of school, and the day of the party everyone was talking about. Apparently, it was going to be a big thing, where every group circle was welcome since it was the first gathering after the break, no one was excluded giving everyone a fresh start. 

Searching for Tommy, the hallways were filled with energetic teens who couldn't contain their excitement before the weekend. Spotting Chris chatting with his friends, I thought I might as well give him the stuff now.

For the past week, he kept his promise by tutoring me during the lunch breaks, and so I owed it to him to fulfill my part of the deal.

"Hey," I tapped his shoulder and nodded to the side, not wanting to do this in front of his friends.

Little fairy girl scowled unhappily when we walked away into the empty corner. Even though she smiled that one time she always looked at me with suspicion and maybe frustration? I wasn't sure what her deal was, maybe she was into Chris... I didn't know. Either way, he wasn't my type and I didn't want anything else than getting my tutoring sessions.

"Thanks, Mars," he grinned happily when I handed him a little bag.

Not saying a word, uneasiness wasn't leaving my mind. "Just..." I began quietly. "Make sure you guys do it safely, don't mix smoking with alcohol if it's your first time, and don't overdo it. Sometimes it takes time to feel the effects."

Since when did I care?

"Aww!" he chippered. "You are worried about us!"

Parting my lips, I was about to deny it, however, I couldn't. Because this group of nerds was so innocent, I just feared to be the reason behind something happening to them, and my consciousness wouldn't let me live with that.

"Whatever, enjoy," I dismissed his comment, but saw that he knew I didn't deny it, which made him smile brightly.

Walking past his friends Amira scowled at me from the side. About to ignore her behavior something in me snapped, almost frustrated from all the glares she was giving me over the week.