Trash Book of Extra.

Part 83 - About Ambition

I think that everyone in this world is born with some ambition inside of them. That ambition might stay dormant in some moments and reawaken at other moments of our lives.

Now, I consider ambitious people insane and this is because they really are insane enough to believe that their vision for themselves will come true and are constantly striving to act on it. Everything they do is for the sake of achieving that vision.

Napoleon's ambition made him believe that he could achieve anything that he set his mind on. He really knew and really studied his history of our great people of their times and even with his upbringing of not having much social status at all, he knew that he wanted to achieve something grand. Something that would put him on the pages of history.

Alcibiades knew from a very young age that he wanted the best things for himself and believed that he was deserving of glory. Other than his highly narcissistic traits and his scandalous womanizing tendencies, he's someone with good qualities to admire. I find his life really interesting to read about. There's a really good book about him called 'Nemesis: Alcibiades and the Fall of Athens' by David Stuttard. I highly recommend it.

Now these are examples of men with lots of ambition and I find ambition to be a desirable trait. I don't at all envy those with this trait. I am happy for them. I admire the fact that they are driven and life doesn't appear to be slowing them down. In fact, it is like they are holding their own destiny in their hands. They can predict and plan ahead so that they are more prepared and more in control of their lives.

Everyone in their own minds have their own way. A way that they may or may not follow themselves.

I personally believe that my own value lies in my usefulness. I have always been like this from a very young age. 'I am useless if I do not contribute to society. I want to share my ideas with someone who might put them into action. I want to teach and guide others and teach them what I know so that I could be useful and truly believe that I have value.' -- This is what my innermost self says to me.

This doesn't mean that I have low self-esteem or that I consider myself lower than other other human being. In my mind, everyone is worthy of being respected (as long as they respect you in turn). Treat people the way that they treat you. Let's say if a highly admired celebrity of high social status like Beyonce was a guest in my house. I would not treat her any differently than any other person and my kindness would come with the condition that it is RECIPROCATED.

Be kind to me and you will receive my kindness in turn.

Be rude to me and you will receive my rudeness in turn.

In my book (that I'm keeping in my drafts until it is finished), human beings can be categorized into three: 'Realm of Innocence , Realm of Experience and the Common Realm'.

Now the trait of treating people exactly how they treat you. This mirroring of the behaviours of the people around you is a trait commonly attributed to those people from the 'Realm of Innocence.'

Most people in this world are from the 'Common Realm' and fewer are from the 'Realm of Innocence'. The older you get, the higher the risk of falling to the 'Common Realm'. That of the beast below man who primarily acts on instinct and selfishness. It is not a bad thing and I've never claimed that it is!

One day, I would like my all of the thoughts that I have to match my actions because that is what makes honesty proud! This is an ideal which I think that everyone should strive for.

Now let me give you an honest account of my ambition's forced awakening from its dormant state.

Now the worst day of my life was when I got bad grades for my A-level exams. It was 16th August 2018. It's kind of funny that I'm writing about this and now it's 16th August 2021. I still got into the university of my choice because they gave me an unconditional offer and for that I will remain eternally grateful. Anyway, I flopped chemistry. I flopped maths. I even flopped biology wtf right?