Eclipse

Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Confusion

"I.....I'm not the one you're looking for. I'm not the person you are pertaining. Just let me go," mahina kong sambit.

Hindi ko maintindihan. Ayaw kong intindihin. Bakit ba sila nagtitipon para sa taong hinahanap nila? Ganoon ba sya kahalaga para bumuo pa sila ng grupo na susuporta sa kanya? At bakit ako?

Napupuno ng katanungan ang isip ko, mga tanong na alam kong sila lang ang makakasagot ng ilan sa mga ito. Napansin ata nila ang pag-aalinlangan at kalituhan ko sa lahat ng nangyayari kaya inaya muna ako ni Cynthia sa isang silid upang doon kami mag-usap. Umupo ako katapat ng silyang kinauupuan niya upang mas makapag-usap kami ng maayos.

Humugot muna ng isang malalim na hininga si Cynthia bago magsalita. "I'm sure you are now confused by this sudden change in your life--"

"Who wouldn't be? Some strangers were saying you are the person they've been looking for and you have no idea how it affects me," pagpuputol ko sa dapat nyang sasabihin.

Nawawalan na ako ng pasensya. Napakadami pa nyang paligoy-ligoy, hindi nalang nya ako direstahin. Napailing nalang sya at ipinagpatuloy muli ang pagsasalita, mas direkta na ngayon.

"You are Eclipse, the former chieftain of the angels. But a tragedy happened that's why we lost you. We've been searching for you for hundreds of years but we saw no traces of you. Until we saw you again in this lifetime, with those two light angels guarding you. We were kinda relief to know that there's someone who's been protecting you but the current chieftain found you and ordered to kill you. That's why we take you away from their sight to secure your safety. And also one thing, we think you lost your memories while regenerating that's why you couldn't remember anything about us," mahaba nyang salaysay. Napatulala ako sa sinabi nya habang prinoproseso ang lahat ng iyon at napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

"Is it them? The one who's been guarding me?" tanong ko sa kanya na sya namang ikinatango nya. I sighed heavily while resting my back in my seat.

Everything feels unreal.

Napaayos muli ako ng upo ng maalala ang dapat kong itatanong sa kanya kanina pa. "Who are you? Why are you with them? I thought you were a loyal member to the group where I meet you first. Why do you need a group to find and help me if I'm really that Eclipse? What are your motives? Is it for revenge?"

Napahalukipkip sya dahil sa sunod sunod kong mga tanong. "I really hope this is for revenge but it's not. It's for everyone's safety. How ironic we still think about their safety even if they are the ones to be blamed for all of this," she weakly smiled and continued. "I am the daughter of the leader of the rebels but she's not yet here that's why I'm the one who's incharge. I know Lune and his group for a long time, I also know their motives for betraying the current chieftain that's why I disguised myself to join them in searching for you. But I betrayed them too by taking you away from them for your safety. We've been searching for you because you are the only rightful one to rule us all. The one who could stop this mess."

They needed my help. To help the ones who ruined me. To help the ones whom I called for help at that time but no one did. To help the ones who throw their spiteful glares and harsh words at me when I'm in brink of breaking down. Life is so unfair.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at ibinaling nalang ang atensyon sa maliwanag na buwan na nasisilip sa malaking bintana.

We become what we are now due to the experiences we encounter in the race of life. But it doesn't mean we deserved to suffer, to experience cruelty in life. It's only a way to be wiser and stronger physically, emotionally and mentally, so we can face the unknown with great courage and right descisions.

"I'm not like what you think I am. Everything in this vast universe are constantly changing and so are we. I can be good but I can also be wicked at times. I'm not pure like what the human's idea about an angel. I am filled with intense dark emotions and I do some evil things. I didn't want you to rely your expectations to me because I'm going to do whatever I wanted to do. It may be good or evil, it doesn't matter to me because I'm not living to please any of you," I said to her, still not facing her and just watched the crescent moon smiling brightly at me. I wanted them to know that I'm not the one they imagined me to be.

From my peripheral vision, I saw her nodding at me. "I'll tell it to them." And she looked at the smiling moon.

Great power comes with great responsibility. It's a duty that should be fulfilled within our capabilities as a holder of great power and as a great leader in our people.

Rulers are born to face the inhumanity and cruelty within themselves to mold them, to let them experience it and learn from it to use when the time comes. It's the harsh but real way to mold them into great rulers that will make great descisions for their people's own good.

But it confuses me. I am destined to be a ruler, to make descisions for my people's own good. But I, myself can't even decide for my own good, what's more for the many lives depending on my hands once I accepted my fate again.

It was easy back then, when everything is still at peace but now with the incoming chaos, I can't ensure their safety because I'm also at risk. It's so unfair to think about their safety while you are also unsafe.

I need to decide now whether to accept or just run away from this responsibilities, the reason why everything I have back then meet it's own downfall and disappeared.

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