Blood In The Shadows

Chapter 26-

I can not get that night out of my mind, i finally made up my mind and choose a side. I betrayed my family. There is no coming back from this one. I watch from inside the closed off room in the station as my husband is escorted into an interrogation room. "I need to see him." If i am to go with the people who claim to be my family. Their statement is partly correct but i cannot bare to allow them inside of my heart. I must allow myself to speak with him one last time before i try to as they say "move on". I raise myself from my chair and in a daze walk myself through the door of the room. The agents grab a hold of my arm, "Don't do this." I turn my head to Agent Callihan "But i must." 

They let go of me and i allow myself further into the room, this man sat at the table on the opposite side of the mirror. If he knew where i was he would be sure to kill me. God Knows he's tried, wrapped his wrists around my neck and spitting saliva on my face as he shouts "Where is our daughter". As he pins my arms on the floor. 

The sight of him sitting in there makes me feel sick, the memories of the torture he put me through remains in my mind. Yet the happy memories, i know how bizarre that sounds. Happy memories, how could there be happy memories in a world where there has been so much pain. The memories where the killing stopped and i was hidden away. The only fear i was constantly faced with was what he would do to me. What he would do if he found her. 

How i wish i could walk in there and rip this world apart from him. Telling him of how his precious wife, the woman he purified, the woman he claimed turned on him. How he would wish the ground would swallow him up. He would look at me so helplessly "Darling, Won't you tell me what is going on?" He would play his little game to pretend to the agents of his innocence, that he had no part to play in The Organisation.

"I Suppose you won't let me speak to him?" I question the agents, while keeping my eyes on Ricki. Only the fool in me would take my eyes off such a dangerous man. 

"We fear it would best if you waited until the trial. It would make a bigger impact. Allow you time to make sure your ready. I can't help but worry that if you saw them, your heart would change it's mind and i can't let that happen" The captain informs me and i can't argue with him because he would be correct. My mind could change in a heart beat and that would jeopardise things. 

"You may think your work here is done boys, but I'm sure i don't have to remind you that this Organisation isn't just situated here but all over the world. I hope your prepared to help those people too." I mention to them, the idea of me being free while millions others aren't is a thought to much to bare. 

"Don't you worry Ainsley, were working on something to help those people too" Agent Alvarez informs me but even though something in my mind is telling me to believe him, i simply can't believe The Organisation will ever be gone. Some how, somewhere the never ending charade will keep happening, but with time it will only get worse. Children will continue to be recruited, stolen in the night. Parents killed, innocent people being purified for some god awful religious belief or people being killed because they have no religious belief. The evil doesn't just disappear in the world because we stop one big crime organisation.

"You being here is bad enough, you have to leave now" The Captain informs me and i don't fight his decision. I take one last look at The Businessman before i exit the room altogether. I don't tell them but i feel my throat close up tightly at the thought of leaving. A sadness looms around me as i think of all the things i'm giving up. All that i am to leave behind, after this day and the trial they will soon expect me to heal and get better. What ever that means. How does one even do such a thing? They will expect so much of me and i fear i will not be able to live up to their expectations.

I am driven away from their station and to my witness protection house. I was offered to stay with my biological family but that would never be my home. I would never settle, i'd lay in bed in fear of one of them turning against me. I cannot trust the people as i do not  know them. I know the decision has broken their hearts but they must respect it. As part of my deal, I have agreed to therapy sessions with a therapist selected by The Captain and his advisers. The second, i had to agree to try with those people. They said i didn't have to live with them but i must do at least one weekly visit with them. If i didn't show up they have every right to come by the house and phone them. When my therapist believes it is the right time i will slowly be re-introduced to the world. Going to a normal school they choose out for me even if it is filled with security. They always say "You'll never escape from The Organisation" and they're right. Because they never get everyone and I'm now going to be their number 1 target. I will be their biblical story on my rare purifying story only to betray them and take them down. 

"Miss, Are you okay?" I hear a shallow voice speak out. I snap myself out of deep thought and turn to look at the driver to took me here. He showed great worry in his eye as he looked at me. I place a fake smile on my face and lie to him "yes". But i felt far from okay, i feel empty and numb at betraying my people. For turning my back on them, the doubts of what i did creeping further into my mind. "Thank you." 

I let myself in to the house and already i can feel the tension, they are eager to see me again. I wish i could feel the same but i'm filled with dread at the thought of walking into that room and having them all stare at me. Looking at me with such hope in their eyes because the person they knew is alive. There's one problem, that girl, that person they remember is no longer alive in me. But i must face them, after all they are to have guardianship over me. 

The sound of their voices get louder as i approach the living room before i go further i hesitate. I take a deep breath in and brush my hands down my tartan trousers. I take a step forward and watch them by the door, they seemed on edge. His eyes, they keep glancing all around the room, a sudden sound and his eyes would glance elsewhere. I can't take my eyes away, his eyes were filled of loss. Yet that lost look in his eyes draws me close to him. I take a step forward and a light in his eye begins to appear as he looks my way. He stands up which gains the attention of her, the woman who is said to be my mother. 

"You came" There was a hint of surprise as he spoke. I nod my head "You didn't give me much choice." I couldn't help the bitterness in my voice. They must know i am angry with them, i hold grudges against them. I will not be able to hide it and nor will i try. 

"Please, sit" He reaches out his arm and points it towards the chair. The compulsion in me is telling me to obey orders. That i must do as i am told. That part of my brain has not relieved itself of the horrible teachings. I enter the room and it is as if i had sucked the air away as i could hear little gasps. For them i had not given them a chance, i have pulled away every chance i get. 

I sit down and the silence fills the room around us. "I want you to understand these months it is hard learning you are not who you believed you are. To forget the ways you were taught, to have to accept your family is not your family. I can't pretend to understand what this feels for you but i know how it feels for me and i ask of you to please don't rush me."

"We have many years ahead of us and i will easily take it at any pace you feel is right. Having you back in my life is the greatest gift i could have asked for" My biological mother speaks up first before anyone else. 

But how much time will i allow myself to give to them. The truth is, once i no longer have to follow these rules, part of me has all intentions of leaving. Running far away, get out of this country and go some where The Organisation doesn't exist. Go to a place no one knows of me, of my trauma. Where i can escape. To them, i would be abandoning them. The person they longed to have would disappear out of their grasp again. They should not get attached and neither should i.