Sam and Deena B.S.F (Before Sarah Fier)

Sam, Kate, Deena, and Simon

7:52 PM 

Sam

The lock clicked and my face grew hot. I was stuck with her.

"Kate! Kate, let us out!" Deena bangs on the door which rattles loosely with every hit she throws at it.

"Talk it out! I'll come back in twenty minutes. If you haven't made up then, you're staying in there all night." We could hear Kate walking away and Deena gave one look at me and scoffed.

"Oh, what now?" I asked her.

"What now?" She imitates. " I don't know, you ask me." She sits on Kate's bed. I could feel her anger brewing inside. How can she be angry at me? What did I do? All I ever do for Deena is for her. It's a real fucking shame she can't see it.

"It's like you expect me to fix everything, when I literally don't see how any of this is on me."

"Oh, so what? It's me? I'm the bad guy?"

"Yeah, you are! You're asking as if it's a valid question, when it's not, it's a statement, Deena. Know the difference."

"Is this some English lesson now? Here to teach me about punctuation and shit, right? You Ms. Fraser now? Is that what I call you?"

Words can't escape my mouth. Ms. Fraser's mom. That night of finding Mom and Dad on the floor, restless and voiceless, is flooding back again in waves. I sit beside Deena but don't dare make eye contact because I know if I do, I can't come back from it.

"What do you want me to say and I'll say it." My voice sounds strained, tired. The bags under my eyes would explain it too.

"What?" She chuckles out like I'm making a joke. I look at her now. At her nose. Her lips. In between her eyebrows. Then her face narrows and a pressing energy takes over.

"Oh, you're being serious. OK. This your little tactic now?"

I stare at Kate's wall. All her trophies, medals, certificates. I let out a long, waiting exhale and my eyes remained on the wall.

"Why is everything a battle with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You, you make everything a- a struggle. Why? Why is that?"

"You think I want to talk to you like this?"

"No, but you are. When you don't have to be. I was so happy, Deena. I was genuinely my highest with you. And I know you felt the same. What happened?"

Deena's eyes trace around the room. She can't look at me either.

"I... I don't know how to answer." She said, digging her feet into the carpet, looking down to her hands in her lap.

"I didn't-- I didn't want to hurt you, Sam."

"I didn't mean to hurt you either. I guess I thought I was doing you right by, not talking to you about your dad. I should've bitten the bullet and just told you, right?"

Deena shrugs and then she looks at me.

"What's the use anymore? Telling me wouldn't have changed anything. He's still him and you're still you."

"And us?" I look at her finally, and I feel my lip trembling.

"Us?" Her voice, sort of high with worry. A long pause falls over us and it's not one of those comfortable pauses you have with people. It's one of those where you're dreading the silence, but the next word out of anyone's mouth, you know it can't be a good one if the silence was so long. Then, we hear clapping and cheers from the living room.