shishi gets rejected

no, we're not. shut the hell up

i am once again writing on account of a lack of sleep

and it is contributing to that factor

sigh

shishi gawks at the fellow

through her stupid little crack

whatta creep!

his figure is overshadowed by a giant flowy trench coat but from the minimal places that aren't hidden you can see he's covered in bandages

omg maybe its kikyo is kikyo shishi's true love omg #kikyoxshishi #shishilovekikyo #shishicrushonkikyo #exposed #truth

im so tired

ok, no. it's not kikyo 

his name his Osamu

Osamu Dazai

i swear, his name sounds real familiar

apparently to shishi as well.

she recognizes the name as...

one of her anime crushes!!

i expected a little more

Dazai is gushing about

i literally have no idea

but gushing about something to his female friend

she seems happy but concentrated

really quiet.

and a bit reflective

hmm

shishi focuses on listening into their conversation

she's battling the wind as its repetitive gusts not only make it more difficult to hear their conversation but also closes the door further.

now, it's only a matter of time till she makes too much noise trying to keep the door open or those two have a disgusting cliché moment 

or shishi does something generally idiotic and gets caught

this is the like what,

 2nd, 3rd, husbando confession attempt? i stopped counting i really have no idea someone fact check this

shishi takes a deep breath and reassures herself that everything will be a-ok dandy perfectly awesome fine cool super

show time!

shishi pushes the door open slightly and then high on

cocaine?

nicotine?

adrenaline?

something.

-she slams it open fully and speed walks [? it wasn't a walk nor a run, like a jog] over to dazai 

efficiency!!!

hm

shishi couldn't really tell from the terrible view she had earlier but Dazai and that girl were way closer to the edge of the building than expected

but, when you're pumped full of adrenaline who cares

"dazaiiloveyoumarrymeplease" she blurts

the woman stares at shishi with a raised eyebrow

surprisingly, she doesn't slip a word

ah but Dazai

"What?"

 "i said..."

the woman interrupts, "Dazai, you know her?"

"ah" shishi's nervous again

"Not at all!" 

"...I see." 

the woman shuts her mouth again

she really is a woman of few words

but shishi can finally get a good view of her.

she has long flowy dark hair, black

and she has some hair clips, they're light so they stand out

"uh!"

"What" 

"just wanted to say, you look really peaceful when you fall off buildings :star_struck:"

"What?"

"like that one time you fell off a building, oh it was like this actually. tall building and really dark! :star_struck:"

"Is that so?"

"yeah!"

Dazai had no idea what she was talking about but an idea was forming in his head.

"You really enjoyed that?"

"yes :star_struck:"

"Well, I do love my adorers!"

"ah really?" shishi said, full of hope

"And I try to grant their requests!"

"omg is this really happening... :star_struck: :some_gasp_emoticon:"

"What's your name?"

"shishi :star_struck:"

"I see. Beautiful name!"  

[he also said "who ever gave you that name is really attractive and cool and smart and stuff or something like that but im really humble so i left it out]

"ahh omg this is really happening!"

"Yes!"

"ah omg i--"

Dazai rushes towards shishi, assuming it's for a hug she puts her arms out as Dazai pushes her off the building.

he waves gleefully as she descends, maintaining eye contact the entire time

"See you, Shishi! You look really peaceful!"

shishi screams continuously

her eyes widen as she rapidly becomes closer to hitting the pavement

she looks back at the building on last time, the woman is staring at her intensely.

why.

in her last moments, that's the last thing she sees?  

who even is she

oh

we're really close to the bottom now

shishi turns her attention back to below and prepares for impact

not like she would even survive

she is a few seconds away from contact now

shishi, pretend that hard, textured, dense concrete is one comically large pillow

and that it will catch you

and engulf you in its masses of cotton

and then,

everything is dark again.