Nametags

Chapter 26

          I went home, and didn't mutter a word all night. I went in my vent and ripped the pictures on the wall to pieces. Then I crawled like a hibernating bear into my bed and cried softly into my pillow. I got up once: To get a stack of blankets out of the closet. I herd Gina come in a few times, but she saw me and left. Eventually, Mom came in. 

"Cherry? Gina said you have been in bed all this time."

"I'm sick."

She felt my forehead and neck. 

"You don't have a fever..."

"I just feel crappy, Mom. I'm fine."

"Do you want medicine?''

"No. I just want to sleep."

"Do you want food?"

"No."

"Ok. Do you want the guest room tonight so the twins don't keep you up?" 

"No. Just tell them I'm sick but not contagious."

She left and I went back to my pitty. A few minutes later, Valentina came in and sat on my bed. She moved the dozens of blankets away from my face and stroked my hair. "In Mexico we call this 'corazón enfermo'." I I didn't look at her. "What does that mean?" I asked. "I don't know for sure- I think it translates to "Heart sick"." That was true. I was heart sick. My boyfriend cheated on me. I lost my best friend. What was I supposed to feel? I rolled over. "Can you shut the door on your way out? And tell people I'm sick? I wanna go to sleep." I whispered, painfully choking back tears. She nodded sadly and left. Why was I pushing people away like this? I should let them help me. But I can't admit to that. I'm not weak. I just needed to cry and get over myself. So I did. I cried a lot.

I stayed in my room all night and on-off cried. The twins never did come in to sleep, so I assumed they slept in the guest room. Even though I was emotionally exhausted, I couldn't sleep. It was almost 2:00 in the morning when I finally fell into a restless sleep. But I woke up again at least once every hour, crying. I'd never really broken up before. Was I going to go back to being invisible Cherry? I fell asleep again thinking "I lost somebody who didn't truly love me, but he lost someone who truly loved him..."