UNSHACKLED FEELINGS

CHAPTER EIGHT

What the heck have been sitting here for up to twelve minutes now, where is the so called bride anyway. Is that how its done  here, keeping people waiting. If she wasn't coming she would have said so, I'm only doing this for my dad.  Remembering the day dad drop the bomb on me keeps  giving me chills.
" Kadir come sit down I need to talk to you ." the man talking was the only family kadir has left, after the death that took away his mother, and his brother. This made his father's faith stronger, I  mean I didn't expect that, but me I left my religion and my faith the day my brother died. Dad kept on saying , Kadir ,Allah never burden a soul more than it can bear. What the fuck, does he expect me to go back to God like nothing happened,  he took away those who made my life sane, who made me who I am and who I was today. Now am i  suppose to act like it all matters, well nothing matters to me any more. Life isn't interesting, the first month include me drinking, smoking, man whoring, I tried everything to forget my brother but all I was doing was affecting dad. To prevent him from having more heart attack, I gave up drinking, but dad doesn't know I smoke. I do it any time I  feel frustrated and  lonely.
  "come and sit down beside me," pulling a chair beside the old man I sat, he looks a little tired is he alright? " okay what am about to say is probably going to shock you, but my son know that no matter your decision I love you."
" pop are you sick? did the doctor say something about your health?."
"no Kadir you should think in a positive side okay, not in a negative one. When your mom was alive, do you  remember my best friend. We do go there most weekend to eat picnics, when you were a teenager."
"Yeah dad I remember, they had a little daughter,  when he died, you couldn't stand not seeing him again, so we left for Africa ."
" yeah Kadir, what a memory you have, well before he died we decided to get you and their daughter married so we won't lose relationship. We promised each other we were going to do that no matter what ."
Imagine my reaction when he drop the statement, I was shocked was an understatement! I promise never to get married, a woman can't bear the burden called me.  I'm a disaster, I can't even control myself. I pleaded with my dad that I can't marry the girl. I don't care but he told me it was my mom last wish and I had to fulfill it. Can you  imagine, so parents still do this, it's quite absurd to me. I can't imagine marrying the girl he is talking about. I don't need someone who prays five times daily, covers herself modestly, or who reads the Qur'an. Those kind of people think they are right and people like me are wrong. They believe no matter what people like me shouldn't exist, well I believe people like them think they know all, what a pity. I am not someone who cares about what she thinks about me .