UNSHACKLED FEELINGS

CHAPTER SEVEN

   I have been trying not to think about the bomb Grandma drop on me , it's been three days now and I have been avoiding both my mom and Grandma, Shalom and Priscilla have been keeping mute but I know sooner or later they are going to tell me what is on their mind, meanwhile I've been working ,and searching about the guy my dad set me up with. Kadir Altruiz. I feel like have met him but I can seems to place the particular location, and he was a freaking pilot, wow, I didn't expect that lanky teenager then to become this successful, travelled the whole world, now that is interesting, found myself thinking what would it look like if I was able to travelled the whole world?, I mean come on, with different culture, race ,religion, language, it promise to be fun and let's not forget the food, I wouldn't want to miss that, so dad thinks his daughter is going to find happiness with this Kadir guy, if only he knew that I was never going to be at peace again. It was my fault he died, if I hadn't been held Ransom, if my dad hadn't been trouble to look for some certain amount of money we didn't have, all these made him depressed. I survive but I was never whole, if I had noticed I was being followed, if I had just run a little faster or if I hadn't been preoccupied with the cooking video , all these wouldn't have happened but now it's done.
I was told by the  psychologist that it wasn't my fault, Allah has already written it down. It wasn't my fault even my Grandma said the same but I just can't believe them, I know it was my fault all these happened. I had tried committing suicide, I cut my wrist three times ,but it seems even when I forsake God he never did the same to me, so I gave up on suicide since it wasn't for me, I stop talking to my Friends and when I got into college  I  was considered  mute by most people.
Yeah mute , I avoided  people because I was still so hurt about dad death and at the moment I didn't trust human because they can be a 'green snake under a green grass' , so being extra careful and vigilant i pass my first semester but then I needed a roommate because I was short of funds so when shalom and Prisci who were friend before meeting me came asking if the room was still available, I had no choice, I really needed the money. They made me frustrated, annoyed, angry and finally they made me laugh so I click with them and I'm forever  grateful that I met such people walahi it was a blessing for me .
   " Muna !Muna! hey girl snap out of it ." hearing my name being called I snap out of my thought ,facing my partners in crime .
" we have been calling you for the past two minute now, are you alright?, what is it ?, you know you can talk about it right it won't hurt .
"I know girls but am worried I was searching the profile of the guy my dad set me up with and it seems I have seen him or come across this face before , I just can't remember and I don't know what to say to Grandma. I feel worn out, I don't want to disturb her, you know she is old and moreover the guys family already said yes, he is a pilot and has much more money than I can imagine ." I know I was blabbering but I can't help it. I fell nervous, tired, because I know I have to give my answer very soon. I can't keep running forever, turning toward my friends I waited for their opinion.
" Muna in my opinion I think you should meet the Guy, talk to him, who knows you may fall in love with him after that ." shaking my head at her, I mean come on I can't blame her, ,after all it's Priscilla, so am sure ,she isn't taking this serious .
"So shalom what about you, I mean I know prisci is crazy but her idea shouldn't be crazy too ." ignoring her glare I just chuckle .
"Muna I think you should meet him, maybe both of you can sort it out, or you can talk to each other, get to know, and if his attitude does not please you, you can tell your Grandma and mom about it, am sure they will understand ." now that is a good idea .
  We were all in my room right now, I decided I want to meet  Kadir, I told Grandma and I was sure in my twenty fours years I've  lived on earth I have never seen her that happy. I didn't say yes all I did was just tell her that I want to meet the guy and my two friend should accompany me and she was screaming, what is she ?, a teenager, shaking my head at the thought .
"So Muna I think you should go there looking hot, it will give the guy something to talk to his family about even if  you aren't going to get married to him ." I guess you know who said that, I  don't have to tell you who .
"Prisci are you crazy ,I  should look for more reasons to look bad, because I don't want to get married, and moreover I am not his type of women ."
" really," detecting some sarcasm I ignore her " so now you know his type of women that is so Lovely, and how did you know that madam , if you don't mind me asking ."
" I  haven't actually seen him with any woman it seems he kept his private life different from his public , but I can guess the kind of woman he goes out with, sophisticated, gorgeous ,and high Class  and as you all know I don't fit in the category i just mention.  I'm not even beautiful  I'm just pretty and looking like some baby ." Shalom was the first to speak .
" Muna are you crazy ?, have you look into the mirror, or do you even do that lately, you are beautiful,  your chocolate skin, wavy hair, brown eye, lips ,baby face, should I continue counting, I  can keep on and on, and you shouldn't abuse Gods creation, you said it yourself, so why are you doing that ." okay maybe I was a little blunt now I was embarrassed .
"Thank you girls, your being here means a lot to me, just want you to know that ." hugging both of them .
"of course we do, without us am sure you won't survive this world ."
" in your dream pri , in your Dream, laughing softly we decided to go for simply elegant, I was putting on a long mermaid shape gown with emarald and blue, long sleeve, a one inch heels emerald scarf with some makeup.