The Host- (sarah paulson)

sarah's story

"I love you too. Wait, I mean, did you really mean it?"— I asked, completely speechless.

"I did. I love you."— she looked a little embarrassed towards the situation.

"Sarah, did you ever...did you ever had a relationship with a woman before?..."

"Not a serious one."

"Are we? Like in some kind of relationship?"- I asked. I wanted to know what this was about, I wanted to be with her so I was making sure she wanted to be with me.

"We are if you want to be."— she answered.

"Well, would you accept if I wanted to?"

"Of course I would!"— she hugged me and pulled out to kissed me.
I caressed her cheek as we stayed like that for some minutes, whispering cute things to each other.

___

"Should we go shopping?"— she gave the idea.

"I don't know if that's a good idea..."
I was not ready to go out, I was scared of people!
What if someone recognizes me? That's very unlikely to happen after all the changes I did but it stills very risky.

"It will be okay, don't worry!"— she grabbed my hand and caressed it. — "Come."

I just hope she's right.
We got out of the hotel and she drove me to a big shopping in the city.
We were enjoying the music playing in the car when she roughly changed the radio station.

"Hey, I liked that music!"— I laughed and went to change it back again but she grabbed my wrist.

"Don't, Y/n."— she simply said.

"Why?..."— I didn't understand at first.

"It brings back memories I would love to delete from my brain."— she said, still looking at the road.

Flashback (Sarah's pov):

I came back home from work after a long, long day.
Too much stress, too much people and tiredness.
I put my bag on top of the kitchen counter when I saw my ex sitting in a armchair on the other side of the room'.

"Michael? What are you doing here?"— I frowned as I looked at him.

"Hello, Sarah."— he stood up calmly.
"You know, I've been wondering where you were all this time."— he started walking around the room with his arms behind his back. — "You look exactly the same as when I met you, tired and probably without a man. Oh, and you forgot to ask for the keys back."— he threw them across the room.

"What are you doing here?! Get out of my house!"— I shouted.

"Well, my bad I didn't tell you the most important thing first. I actually came here to inform you this house is still mine."

"What do you mea-"— I was trying to ask but he interrupted me.

"I mean you need to leave. I have a girlfriend and we are moving here. She is very beautiful, and doesn't look tired all the time like you, look at you..."— he completed ironically.

"Fuck you. You were the one who destroyed me! I'm tired because of you! I look like this, because of you! Now get the fuck out of my house!"

"No, no Sarah. I don't think you understood what I meant. I stay, you leave."

"How dare yo-"— I was interrupted once again.

"Get out now!!"— he shouted violently.

I ran to my bedroom, grabbed a bag, random clothes and left the house.
I entered in my car, put some music and cried to feel better. Not even the music could help me.
I left my past behind and now I was in my way to a happy life.
I was in my way to Los Angeles."

___

Sarah was day dreaming about something, when I talked she came back to reality.

"I understand, Sarah. I felt something like that when I heard a song in the hotel."— I said, placing my hand in Sarah's leg to comfort her even if I didn't know what it was about.

Some time later, we arrived.
I could tell people freaked me out at this point.
Just knowing that almost everyone in this place probably watch the news, was sufficient to send shivers down my spine.

I was holding hands with Sarah as we entered inside.
She was so sweet and bought me all I wanted. I didn't ask for much too, I felt bad buying things with her money.
We grabbed some snacks from the supermarket to eat at night and then came back to the hotel.

___

"Not this again..."— I heard Sarah mumbling between sighs.

"What?"

"Look."— she pointed to the television with disappointment.

"Suspected of having seen the teenager who disappeared in the previous week.
Some local citizens say they have seen her in a Los Angeles supermarket.
The young girl was seen with a middle-aged woman in the parking lot before entering the mall. The parents admit they are not sure it was their daughter, as the girl in the images had her hair dyed blue."

"Sarah, we need to get out of here!"

"We can't."

"We can't? Why?! They will identify you and see where you are, then you will be suspect. They will think you kidnapped me or something. And then they will finally find me and it's all fucked up."

"Y/n, I'll figure it out."— she said very calmly, like always. I seriously couldn't understand how she could keep calm with everything.

"Sarah, why are you always so calm? We are almost being caught and you're just chilling in there in front of the television with snacks in your hand. Do you think we will do it if we keep acting like this?!"— I started getting stressed out and couldn't even control my words.

"Stop. Stop! You know what? I'm always stressed out. I'm always so fucking stressed, honestly. But I keep hiding it because I don't want to make you feel bad okay?! Just stop!"

"I'm sorry, we are arguing again..."— I felt bad.
I needed her right now and we couldn't argue anymore, it was getting toxic.
It's so controversial the fact we always argue when we most need each other.
We needed to calm down even if both felt like exploding anytime.

"You're right, we need to stop arguing. And yes, I'm thinking about what to do. It's not because I'm very silent that I'm not thinking about a solution, okay?"— Sarah pat my back, trying to calm me down.

"Yes, angel... I love you so much."— I wanted to cry again.
What was happening to me? I never felt like this before. I wanted to scream, I wanted to be dramatic, to explode, to cry from sadness and anger at the same time, I wanted to sarcastically laugh for nothing...
I was so confused with my own feelings.

I wanted to get out of all this situation, but then I remembered I was the one who put myself into it.
And I hate myself to involve Sarah in my problems, she doesn't deserve this at all. I'm so sorry...