Our Lives Turned Upside Down *A BTS Reverse Harem (On Hold)

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Nyx's POV

Yesterday was emotionally draining. And somehow it wasn't. I feel better getting it off my chest, but now I have another dilemma. Added to Namjoon making me feel worthless, now Yoongi did too. And I make a pact with myself, over the last days here I'm not going to give in. I'm just going to see if I can spend my time with Jimin. His presence yesterday helped a lot. Without it I think I would be further gone than I am now. 

And that kiss was featured in my dreams and I hope more will happen. Lounging around the sitting area I'm not alone. Kookie is playing something on his phone, Yoongi is scribbling on a notebook. I don't know how to feel. It hurts hearing him say he forgot me. So much that it feels like part of my heart is ripped out. I don't linger too long on him and talk with Jin who is sitting beside me, arm over my shoulders. 

Seeing Yoongi get up in the corner of my eye, he disappears from my view and I try to let it go. But I can't. Next to Namjoon he's imprinted hard into my brain in two ways. I want both. They excite me, both a little darker which lures me in. But the other way, the one that weighs heavier, they don't think I'm worth anything. Just an object they can use when they please. And it hurts, it hurts that the people I admired for their talent and perseverance think nothing of me. Absolutely nothing. 

Jin is sweet, he knows I'm not really listening but he still tells me story after story. Just keeping me company. Noise from the stairs has me looking up and Nari comes down to do the laundry. She is listening to music and ignores all of us. I see Jungkook look up from his game and watch her with the same look he always has for her. His eyes follow her and then he looks down at his phone again. All this time I'm sitting here he hasn't looked away from his phone once. She comes down and he looks up right away, like he has a radar for her. Or maybe he can smell her? Maybe he senses her aura? I don't know but it hurts. Another one of them making it perfectly clear that she is better. And I'm not worth a second thought. 

I wish Jimin would finish his shower. I miss him. I need him to shut Nigel up. Nari stays away for a long time and then Yoongi comes back and takes his previous spot and he looks sad and there is something else but can't see it clearly. What happened? And I catch myself feeling sorry for him. And Nigel laughs in my mind. See babygirl even if they treat you like shit you still care for them. Pathetic and worthless. Nice, it suits you. And he laughs some more. 

Noise again on the stairs and finally Jimin is downstairs. He looks around and when he finds my face his lights up in the cutest crescent smile ever and I love him more. He isn't someone who thinks I'm nothing. Quite the opposite actually. He makes me feel like I'm the only thing that matters. He doesn't see Nari. It's like she is invisible to him. He comes over and sits next to me. He doesn't talk, just takes my hand and softly draws shapes on the top and on my wrist. And I can breathe, Nigel is gone giving me peace. It was so loud inside my mind I don't know how much more I can take. 

Rolling up into a ball I snuggle against him and he hugs me with one arm, tucking my head under his chin. Softly caressing my arm with his other hand. Jin falls silent and I doze off very quickly. This feeling of peace is what I crave. I don't know how long I nap but I get woken up when Jimin needs to get up. I blink slowly watching him disappear into the kitchen. Looking around I see that Hobi, Yoongi, Jin are lounging around me. Namjoon, Jungkook, Tae and now Jimin are absent. 

Suddenly Jungkook walks into the sitting area, Nari firmly in his arms and he looks at ease, proud, enjoying the attention way too much. So he must like her more than me. But he already let me know that. Now that Jimin is gone Nigel attacks full force and I can't hide my hurt and despite it the jealousy when I look at them. 

Looking away quickly I breathe slowly trying to not give away how I feel. They all think Nari is better and I'm nothing. Just look at how he looks at her. But I can't look again. I might cry and I don't want that. Can't show them how much it hurts how they treat me. They will forget me completely in a few days anyway. They would only laugh at how much I care.