Our Lives Turned Upside Down *A BTS Reverse Harem (On Hold)

❤ 19a ❤

Nyx's POV

Waking up after the nightmares I keep my eyes closed. I feel Jimin's chest against my back moving with his even deep breathing. So he's still sleeping. Is Nari right? Am I obsessed with getting noticed by men? Letting everything run through my mind I realize I should have done a lot differently. But because I haven't, I ruined our friendship. 

Will she ever forgive me when I apologize? I truly hope so but I know her. She rarely forgives, and my hope disappears. The thoughts circle in my mind, the one heavier than the other, pressing down on me like the weight of the world. Lying in Jimin's arms gives a little solace, at least one is on my side. The others must hate me now, they saw the ugly side of me. 

I hope Nari won't take to heart what I said in my jealousy. I didn't mean any of it. She has helped me with Nigel. Namjoon brought him back, it's not her fault. And she's strong and can definitely survive on her own. She doesn't need anyone. It's me who needs her. I can't lose her and I'm afraid I already lost her. 

The tears come again and I let them go, no point in trying to hold them in. I knew it would happen and Jimin's arms tighten when he wakes up. He turns me around and presses my face into his chest. He strokes my hair and back, "shhhh. It will work out. You'll see. They're just words. We all say things in anger sometimes. Only because we love them so much." His words make me cry harder. Why is he so sweet? Give me anger, I know how to deal with that. 

He lets me cry for as long as I want and eventually they dry. A hiccup once a while, but otherwise I'm calm. His shirt is wet where he pressed my face. He lifts my face with his index finger and his eyes travel over my features. He ends it with staring into my eyes. "Feeling a little better?" His voice so sweet, I melt. And my eyes eat his face, nodding with my lips parted a little, mesmerized. 

Today it's his stomach that announces we need to get up. I'm reluctant to go down. I'm really scared how the guys will react. He kisses my forehead and gets out of bed. The cold invading his space has me shivering and I'm happy his back is facing me. Being this close to him has my need for him grow rapidly to insurmountable promotions. 

"I don't want to go up to change. Can I wear something of yours?" I question him when I get out of bed. He turns just before entering his washroom. He gets me a white t-shirt and some sweats. "Here you use the washroom first." Pushing me towards it. Taking a real quick shower using his soap, I get out and dry. Going commando in his clothes feels erotic somehow. Wiping the fogged up mirror I look at my reflection and I wish I hadn't. I look like I'm super sick with the flu. 

Puffy red eyes, actually my entire face is a little bloated. This is unfixable, so I only brush my hair and leave the washroom. I sit on Jimin's bed as I wait for him to finish in the washroom. He takes my hand and leads me down to the others eating breakfast. The mood is solemn and I hate I created it. Releasing Jimin's hand I halt a few feet away from the table. All look at me except Jungkook. 

"I'm so sorry for last night," I state firmly looking at each of them. Jin gets up and comes over to me, pulling me in a tight hug. He doesn't say anything, just strokes my back. After a few minutes he releases me and looks me deeply in my eyes, searching for I don't know what. 

Looking at the table I see Namjoon and Jungkook eating, Tae regards me with cold eyes. He's definitely angry at me, and I don't blame him. Yoongi and Jimim watch me with a soft expression and it's unnerving. Why aren't they angry? Or I don't know what. Not this accepting, I can't handle that. Nigel was always angry so I know angry, but the other kind is new and feels weird. 

Taking a tentative step closer to the table, Jin is already back in his spot. "Where is Nari" I whisper. Jungkook shoves his plate away, wipes his hands and gets up. He turns to me and seeing the expression I halt. This is familiar, an angry scowl painting his entire face. He comes closer and halts three steps in front of me, crossing his arms. Taking a deep breath I prepare myself for the next hurtful words.