Together [BL]

14

"You both must be hungry. I'll go make dinner," I say with a painful tone. Yet you both hold onto me tightly, and I couldn't move.

"Leo, you're hurting us... Why won't you stay with us?"

"Stay, mommy. Stay with papa and me." Her face becomes ugly.

As soon as a single cry escapes her mouth, I hug her up to me, "Mommy will stay. Don't cry anymore, mommy will stay."

"Promise?"

I can feel her fast heartbeats and warmth against my skin. My chest feels tight and uncomfortable... Perhaps my face is really ugly right now because her little face is frightened again.

I hold her tighter so that she can't see my face. With multiple deep breaths, I can only comply, "Yes. Mommy promises. Mommy will stay with you."

"And papa?"

"With you and your papa."

I can hear her chuckling and making faces with you. The tightness in my chest lessen, and I allow myself to lean against you. I look up to see your smug face, "I want some water."

"Then I'll be right back," you say as your hands slip away from my waist. Your face is a little sad and a little joyous. I've never seen your face this way before—no, I recall this face of yours now. It's like when we first gotten married. You were always a little sad when you have to be apart from me but a little happy that you're doing something for me. I liked you very much then.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

She chuckles and covers her mouth, "I like calling for you, mommy. It makes me happy when you answer me."

"I will do my best to always answer you." I move my thumb along her round cheeks.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Um... Will mommy sleep with papa and me tonight?" Her face is full of expectations.

I move my lips to the side and look away for a second. If I allow this to happen once (which I already did, but let's not include that), I'm sure it'll become a routine. Am I ready to remove this wall that protects my personal boundary? But I can't say no here, can I. I should've thought of this before I wanted this child.

"Only for tonight."

She frowns immediately, confused. I knew she would ask, "Why only tonight?"

"Because..." I have already planned an answer. "Mommy wants you to ask again tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after after tomorrow... Mommy wants us to renewal our consent everyday."

"Why?" She is taken aback.

"Well, sometimes mommy only wants to sleep with you, or maybe only with papa."

"To make me a little sibling?"

The image pops up in my head and surges a laughter from inside me. I really wonder whether she's just this way or it's you who's behind this.

"Why's mommy laughing?" Her voices turns meek and troubled.

"Because mommy is happy that you understand. However, a little sibling will have to wait for the time being."

"Why for the time being?"

I open my mouth to answer but you walk in with two cups of water, and somehow your presence makes me shy.

"This is for mommy, and this is for my daughter." Your voice is tender. Your smiling lines show slightly. The apple of your cheeks has a rosy tint. All of these make my heart flutter like when we were teenagers.

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure," you say as you slip behind me and hug us again. This fluffy gestures are really intoxicating!

"Papa! Papa! Mommy said he'll let us sleep with him tonight, but only tonight. Tomorrow we need to ask again."

"Oh really?" You lean over my shoulders for our noses to touch.

"It's because I might want some nights alone..."

Our daughter stares at me in disbelief. She corrects me, "That's not what mommy said earlier. No. Mommy said she might only want me or you. I will have a little sibling but not for the time being."

"Oh really?" You sound again with a light giggle.

These two are partners in crime aren't they. Teasing me like this is really unfair. I put our cups on top of the drawer beside the bed and sigh loudly for them to hear.

"Mommy, are you tired?"

"No. Mommy isn't tired yet. Are you hungry? Mommy's a little hungry," I pat her soft head.

She snuggles up to my hand with a sweet look, "I want mommy's cooking. Can mommy make my favorite food for me?"

"What's your favorite food?"

"Spaghetti with meatballs," you answer from behind me. "My favorite as well. Just make it like how you make it for me. I used your recipe anyway."

After dinner, you take our daughter for a bath while I clean up. I return to the room where she is wrap in towel on my bed like a caterpillar.

"Where's papa?" I ask while drying her hair with another towel.

"Looking for my pajamas," she laughs. "Mommy, I want us to do this every night. We eat dinner, mommy do dishes and papa help me bathe. Then mommy dries my hair and papa looks for my pajamas."

She's just like you, straightforward and rendering me speechless.

"Mommy, are you angry with me again?"

"Angry?" I touch my face, "Mommy isn't angry with you. Mommy is just so surprise that mommy can't think of what to say."

She frowns, "Did I say something bad?"

I stand on my knees to level our eyes. She's as insecure as I am. I lean in to kiss her forehead, "You didn't say anything bad. Mommy just didn't know what to say because mommy also wants everyday with you and papa to be like this..."

"If I wants it and mommy wants it, then why can't we do this everyday?"

"Of course we can. Mommy is just sad that mommy should've woke up sooner so that we could have even more days like this one. You're going to grow up fast and wouldn't want papa and mommy help you bathe anymore."

"That's right," you kneel beside me. "Let mommy help you dress so papa can shower, alright?"

She nods with a sly grin, and you excuse yourself to bathe.

I help her dress and blow dry her damp hair. She watches me through the mirror, "Mommy."

"Yes?"

"Mommy's good looking like papa and me."