loving you is a losing game ~ mbb x fem reader

cocaine and drinking with your friends.

y/n's pov:-

"YES COMING", I yelled from inside my house to alex honking his car from outside.

"hi", I said and slid into his car.

"mm, looking good today", he said, smiling and looking forward at the road.

"thanks, not you", I said to him, casually. he turned his head and raised his eyebrows.

"yeah i know i don't look anything special today. oh wait, that's cause i look good everyday", he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"overused comeback", i said to him, making a frowny face.

"nah, you were just unable to shoot a comeback fast enough, admit it", he said, laughing.

"i will admit to no such false acclaims", i said, sitting up straight to look all high and mighty.

he laughed. and there was silence in the car for a while. and the while extended up to a long time.

alex sighed.

"you're so much more fun, y/n. i saw you when you were with millie. always laughing, cracking jokes, being friendly...what's different now?", he asked me, seeming genuinely hurt. i swallowed once and thought about it. I didn't even realise that I was different around people nowadays.

"i still crack jokes, i still laugh. like I was, just three minutes back", I said to him, unable to understand his point.

"well, technically, yeah you still do. but...that's only when someone else says something. it's just...you replying to whoever saying anything. that wasn't what it was with millie. you two seemed to have unending conversations", he said, his eyes seeming a bit dull.

"how do you even know so much about me and millie?", I asked him.

"ive always been sort of a people watcher", he said, chuckling.

"mhm", I said. things again fell silent.

it was silent for about 15 minutes and I didn't even notice. too drowned and consumed in my own head to even realise the silence.

alex suddenly pulled up at the side of the road.

"are we here-"

"see this is what I'm talking about. ive tried so many ways to get you to open up and feel comfortable with me, but nothing seems to work. at least let me know where i'm going wrong so we can fix things. i want you to get better. i want you to go back to the jolly y/n that i knew and the one i fell for", alex said, his eyes screaming desperation for answers. he suddenly stopped after the last sentence.

"yeah, sorry, pretend you never heard that", he said. my eyes widened. did alex like me?

"are you...serious?", i asked him. who could actually like such a dramatic, unable-to-get-over-dead-ex person?

"no- i mean, yes, but that's not for you to know", he said to me, closing his blue eyes and shaking his head. his blue eyes were beautiful but i could never forget millie's brown eyes. those eyes that got me through so much. wait- this is about alex. i shouldn't start thinking about millie again.

"then who is supposed to know? your friend justin?", I asked him, with a laugh, trying to lighten up the mood. he chuckled.

"no, uh, he doesn't know as well", alex said.

"alright. great."

"im just gonna...resume driving to bryce's once again, we're almost here", he said and took control of the steering wheel once more.