𖣔 7th June 2021:
She hasn't figured out her feelings yet so I'm still left in the dark, but it creates a little spark of hope that I stupidly grab and hang onto. I mindlessly hold it like if I let it go, that small hope, the small part of myself that I let dream all these fantasies will shatter into a million pieces. I grasp it with such force and cling on it like my life depends on it. Maybe, just maybe, she likes me back. Maybe she'll accept me and all my flaws. Maybe she'll accept me and my ugliness. Maybe. Just maybe.
Despite the tiny bit of hope, my much more pessimistic thoughts consumed me. They ate me alive. Is this love? If so, then I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it as much as Ade and half the school hate me.
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Random Rants○●
Ngẫu nhiêna girl struggling with her spirituality and sexuality, stuck in a suicidal cycle. ~based on a somewhat true story~
