love, sex and dollars.
"spit on it."
she was my soul when it was lit on fire. glowing all around me, burning me down to ashes at her feet where i felt her touch. armin and eren, two boys who loved you in their own ways. but you're the only one who c...
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TWO YEARS.
of doing nothing. two years of languid breathing. two years listening to the moans of women ymir brought home.
you could never say their name because they would never make it back home for a second time.
two years of eating, sleeping, and doing it all over again.
painfully, you watched those two years in agony pass by like the seasons. holed up in a room, where daylight could barely brush your skin.
you had forgotten what the sun felt like. and if you could die like this you would've loved it. "this chick called me over dude. her pop's not home for a week and she wants me to stay over," she looked at you from the kitchen door as you watched the tv.
"sure," you answer before her even asking the question. you heard the sound of popcorn from there and you poked your head out.
"as soon as i make something," she walked over to you as she pinched your nose and pulled on it, "this thing cums before my girl-"
"stop," you throw the small pillow you were grabbing on.
"i can make my girlfriends cum fast by the w-"
"oh my gooood," you groan as she giggles.
"will you be alright, alone?" she hunched over on the sofa and put her legs on your lap. her white nike sock reached above her heels." i'll make sure to stock up on your favorite things."
"am i a kid?" you ask, peeking her eyes. she bit her lips as she reached for the remote from your hands. she turned it off without warning you.
you sat there quietly knowing what was about to come down. "are you really planning on wasting your life away?"
"you've asked the same thing every day for the past 2 years," you look away from her as you tried to get up.
she grabbed you by the shoulders, yanking you down on the sofa. she put her legs beside you forcing you down, and making you stay in your place.
you didn't even try to move around because you knew it would be futile.
"wow that's a long sentence coming from your mouth, feels weird." she put her palms on her arms and shivered.
"i was just taking-"
"a fucking break?" the same words were repeated again and again and now you both knew what came next with what type of tone attached. "for two fucking years? not one, but two?"
you stay still in your position. "at least be mad. break stuff like you used to when me and mom came into the picture. go shoot him or something, i'll take care of ever-"
"ymir." you stopped her. "i'll live, okay? i'll breath," you could catch her eyes through the small brown locks of hair that fell on her face. she was leaning down, to make sure she heard everything you said."
"it's not like i wasn't planning to. what the fuck did you think? i was just ruining my life?" you asked her. "do you think it was fucking easy? sleeping every night, it felt like snakes were crawling under my skin." you feel your eyes well up with tears.
you always cried when you got mad. not because you were sad, but just because you were a little bitch.
"princess," she murmured."i know it's been hard. i know you've been suffering, but how long? how fucking long will you give it to him?" she yelled. she grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking your head on the sofa that creaked.
"you gave 2 years for him, that fucking idiot. SO STOP NOW," she screamed as the voice echoed in the room.
"gave him 2 years? you're such an idiot," you said as she looked you in the eyes again. the tears had gone back down. you forced it down.
you say to ymir as she backs up when you tried to get up. "waste? yeah right."
"i'm a fucking bitch," you scream, walking to your room and burying yourself in your blankets. as time went by it became hard to shut your eyes. they felt so soft that it just would not stay down.
you grab your pillow and run towards ymir's room. you can see a trim light shining from the bottom of the crook of her door. you knock before opening it.
she laughed when she saw you in your bra and panties, hugging a pillow against your chest. "you good, princess?" the floor was cold as your bare feet touched them. your toes curling due to your hair standing on your skin.
the cold air that brushed against the skin of your body. "lemme sleep next to you."
she locked her phone as she moved to the edge of the bed, "take the corner then," she said. she shoved her pillow under the pillow. "won't you get attached?" you move towards her as you throw your arms around her waist. you always wondered how she never got attached to the girls in her life.
burying your head in her chest, you could hear her heart beating in a unified pattern. it was satisfying.
"to big boobs?" she asked as she covered you with her blankets.
"oh my goodness," you smile against her skin. you wrap your legs around her waist. you groan as you snuggle in.
"did connie call you today?"
"yeah."
"did you answer him?"
"yeah."
ymir placed her bet right on the first day that you and connie would make up. because from all the men she met, connie sounded sincere and honest.
even though he did something shameful and awkward, he never avoided a situation, even if it was embarrassing.
so just within two days of settling down in paradis, you both made up. even though he felt like he didn't deserve it, you knew it was okay.
because it's okay to forgive.
since you can't control your feelings.
even if could be wrong or right, you only cared about your feelings.
because it's okay to be selfish.
maybe it was the place. it felt like something new was waiting for you.
