love, sex and dollars.
"spit on it."
she was my soul when it was lit on fire. glowing all around me, burning me down to ashes at her feet where i felt her touch. armin and eren, two boys who loved you in their own ways. but you're the only one who c...
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ANYTHING BUT NORMAL.
that's how it felt like. a day like no other, so ordinary that you would feel like it was a waste to breathe.
when you saw how serious he was, you thought there would be many kids. "it's just two." you saw the two kids in a stroller. both had a bottle in their hands and they were terrifyingly filthy.
"don't underestimate kids, y/n." he closed the door as soon as the kids came in. the floor was loud with his footsteps. it was heavy, like a presence going noticed every time he moved.
"it would be nice if you didn't say my name like that" you opened the windows. it was weird. these days, the sun was so warm that you would unconsciously let it touch your dull skin. "is that you?"
the pictures that hung on the wall were barely noticeable. not because they were small, but because they were hidden with a curtain. when you moved them a bit, you had seen them.
"don't look at it," he yelled as he came running to you. he pulled the curtains from your hands, hiding the same pictures again.
"it's too late armin." you looked at his puzzled face. "what?"
"you make it sound like my name is something special." he looked uneasy.
"everyone's name is special enough."
"is that why you never asked my name?" he chuckled as he pulled on the stroller. he took the girl in his hands as you hurried to take the other one, to help him out.
"you hold it so nicely."
"it?" he looked horrified. but he was on the verge of laughing and bursting out in tears. he laughed as he put the baby on the same bed you had once laid down.
"oh, sorry."
"you should ask someone's name first." he said as you put the baby down. you could tell this one was a boy.
"then what is its name?" he looked tired of putting up with you.
"god," he huffed. "i kind of feel jealous, you never asked for my name."
the wind sailed through the iron bars that ran across the wooden windows. "then, can you please tell me your name?"
"what are you talking about?" he laughed. "you already-"
"what's your name?" you stood there, like a woman who was alienated from the world around you.
he smiled as he came in front of you. "hi, i'm armin, what about you?"
"i'm y/n. thank you for hiring me as a babysitter."
"oh, it's all my pleasure," he said as he smiled. he smiled a lot in fact. how could a person be so happy? even after you understood from talking to him, and being near him, that he had no parents.
you lost a mother. you know the pain of losing one.
"and what are their names?" you moved your eyes to the boy who was lying peacefully. but the girl with brown hair was the one who looked like she would put up a good fight.
"this is gabi," she patted her head and she was ready to bite it. "and this is falco. they are neighbors."
"oh, i see,.... i like falco," you brushed your hands against the sleeping boy, and his eyes scrunched a bit, making you smile a bit. his blonde hair was incredibly soft. maybe this is what armin's hair too felt like.
armin looked at you because he had never seen you smile. in fact, he had thought that there was something in you that stopped you from doing so. but that didn't seem to be the case.
a thump echoed in his heart, as he only stared at your lips. he wanted to do it again?
he cleared his throat which shook you. "it would be best if you didn't show any partialism to the kids."
"well, it's too late, and you can fire me if you want. i like falco."
armin smiled so much that you knew that the day ahead is going to be stiffer.
"why do you have so many brochures of....oceans?" you pointed at the cupboards. you had thought they were all kid's books.
"they are...intriguing," he stopped and looked at them. "want to go to the ocean together one day?"
"you have never been to one?" it was fascinating. you would think that it would be one of the places in the countryside where everyone would go to.
"we have to pay the border patrol, and taking the subway is not cheap, because we have to travel way too far" he walked to the kitchen.
falco had woken up and you smirked at the fact he kept staring at the girl. his little hands would reach out to her, only for her to gnarl her teeth at him. and he would smile at her every action, and it honestly annoyed you.
"she is feral, literally," you laughed. what was ymir doing right now? probably banging the same chick you saw the other day.
"want to go visit the ocean?"
"no," you felt like a little devil, trying to push her face away from him. and the way he started to cry was entertaining to you.
"fine, fine, here look at her," look at that, a young love story blooming. "aren't you too early for stuff like this? hm?" you poked his puffy cheeks.
you were kneeling down on the floor, your hand on the bed, trying to make sure the babies don't fall down.
the ground was cold, your knees felt the hard freezing concrete floor.
"here," he extended the same cup you once drank from. "it looks like you're having fun."
"not really," you smirked as you looked at gabi. "i don't like the ocean," you said as you took a small sip. his eyes were on your lips the entire time.
he looked at the rim of the mug, where your lipstick stain was red that he wanted to take it from you, and taste it. "why?"
his eyes never left your lips as you stared at the kids. "it's scary and deep. the emptiness and the fullness is just horrifyingly fathomless."
"oh," his cheerful startled you so much that you twitched a bit. "that's all?"
"i think it's profound. very heartfelt. did you know the name ocean is from oceanus, the elder of the titans in classical greek mythology?"
"titans?" the word felt strangely familiar.
"scientists believe that a sizable quantity of water would have been in the material that formed the earth. water molecules would have escaped earth's gravity more easily when it was less massive during its formation. it's called the atmospheric escape. it's amazing right?" he looked full. like the ocean.
his laughing lines and dimples shone against the sunlight.
even though you never understood a word, the way his eyes shone reminded you of eren. the way he would talk about how he liked to travel, see places, and instead of feeling angry when you looked at armin's face, it seemed like you had forgotten. about him. about eren.
