An Angel got me Suffocating ~Kellic~

Chapter 12

  **One month later**

Kellin's POV
"I feel awful." I sighed, leaning my head on Maude's shoulder as we sat watching Mean Girls.
"Why?" She sounded, her voice full of concern.
"I just...I just feel like, I'm using Si you know? I'm trying to love him, I have no reason not too, he's great...but all I can think is that he's not...Vic."
"No, he's not, because he's not a cheating ass." Maude moved her head, raising her eyebrow at me. "Look Kellin, I love you but you're worth so much more then that. I was really hoping Vic wasn't like the rest, but it turned out he was. I know he made a big impact on your life in a short time, I saw the difference he made in you...but I also saw how badly he broke you down in the click of a finger. If you're not happy with Simon, then end it, but you got to let go of Vic, it's not healthy and I'm worried about you. It's been seven months now, and I'm not saying you should be totally over it, but you should at least be in a place where you're starting to let go. If you got back with him, all you'll get is more pain, a cheater doesn't change it's spots sweetie. I just want what's best for you, and Vic isn't that, at all, like I said, I saw how badly he broke you down, you don't deserve that."
"Why don't I squishy? It's how everyone else has treated me, aside you and Ly of course. But maybe...maybe I don't deserve better. Maybe life has been telling me all along I'm just one of those people made with the purpose for other people to knock around and take their shit out on? What if my purpose in life is to be a physical and emotional punching bag? Everyone I've know, again, aside you and Ly have treated me like dirt and maybe that's just how it's supposed to be. I loved Vic, I love Vic, maybe I was just supposed to find someone who was worth the bullshit."
"You can stop right there Kellin Quinn! You do not deserve to be treated like shit at all! You're an amazing person, sadly life's a bitch and dealt you a shitty hand, but I swear to you, you do not for a second deserve any of it! And Vic worth the bullshit? Seriously? Are you kidding me boy? Look what he did to you Kellin..." She ripped up the sleeves of my hoodie. "You really think he's worth that?! No, no one is worth hurting yourself for. No one is worth making you feel the way you felt when he tore you down! Especially Vic freaking Fuentes!"

I let out a long sigh, staring down at my scars, I knew she was right, but I didn't want to admit it. Vic still had this hold on me, and I couldn't break free from it. I tried, I'd been trying so hard, but all it's done is turn me into someone I'm not. With Vic, I was someone I liked, I was me, the one I always wanted to be. But without him, here I was, using some guy to try and fill the void, I didn't really game much anymore, because it reminded me of him too much, so I took up other hobbies that I didn't like, anything that wouldn't remind me of him. I was more miserable and depressed then I ever was before, I hated myself more then I had before. Vic had made me the best version of me...and then made me the worst. I knew I should let go, it wasn't healthy, but he was the only person who gave me the best version of me, and without him, I could never be that me again, and I wanted, I needed to be that me again. I needed Vic, but that was never going to happen. So here I would be, stuck in life, being the worst version of myself because without Vic, there was no better me.

"Come on, go shower, get some clean clothes on." Maude patted my leg and chimed cheerfully.
"Why?" I groaned.
"We're going to go out, that's why. Not gonna have you sat there all night moping, we're gonna go have some fun, I know Ly's out of town but we can still have fun. You can take you're mind off everything tonight, then tomorrow, you can work out what you want to do about Simon and we'll go from there. Come on, up you get!" She grabbed my hands and yanked me up. "Shower, you stink boy!"
"Alright, alright." I sighed in defeat, I knew better then to argue with Maude. "But where are we going?"
"It's Friday night, Karaoke!"
"Oh no...."
"Oh yes, and I'll even do my amazing version of Justin Bieber's 'Baby'."
"Do that...and I will walk out...and never speak to you again..."
"Well then you better get your ass in that shower and be ready in half an hour, oh and no groaning, moaning or complaining...or I will do it, and I will walk up to you and I will serenade you. That, my dear Mr. Quinn is a promise."
"Okay! Going! Wow you're a devil!"
"No, I'm a woman, now go!" She held out her arm, pointing her finger towards the bathroom door while her other hand rested on her hip. I could tell by her face, she wasn't joking. I rolled my eyes, before hopping in the shower.