An Angel got me Suffocating ~Kellic~

Chapter 13

  "Kellin?" Vic looked at me, his face and tone uncertain.
My eyes grew wide as my heart hammered hard against my chest, my palms got sweaty and my breathing became, just a little unstable. "V-Vic..."
"Uh, hey, what you doing here?" He asked, shuffling awkwardly on the spot, I guess I wasn't the only one feeling awkward and nervous.
"Um, c-came out with Maude, you?"
"Oh, uh, Jaime dragged me out, if you remember him?" He gave a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his head. He was still just as perfect as I remembered him, if not even more so. I had to fight every single urge to not brake down and beg for us to try again. All I wanted to do right now was hold him and kiss him, but I knew I couldn't do that, so I fought back,
"Oh, yeah, I-I remember." I nodded slowly.

There was a short awkward silence, both off us shuffling and fidgeting on the spot before Vic decided to speak again.
"So, how have you been?"
"Er okay, I-I don't work at the nerd store now, w-which sucks u?"
"Uh, yeah, been good. How come you don't work there now?"
"Oh, well, uh, the business got brought out a-and the new owners sacked everyone. S-So I work in a DIY store now."
"Oh, that does suck, I know you loved it there."
"Yeah." I gave a small chuckle. Once again there was an awkward silence, I guess neither of us knew exactly what to do, or say. It was the first time we'd seen each other in over seven months, I guess it was bound to happen at some point, and I guessed it was natural that is was awkward. "I, Uh, better get back, b-before Maude c-come looking. She might kill you if she see's you."
His face dropped a little. "Yeah, I wouldn't blame her." He sighed.
"Yeah, so uh, I'll see you around." I managed to muster up a small smile before turning to walk away.

I didn't get far though before I felt a hand on mine, causing that blissful electric current type feeling and the feeling of butterflies errupting in my abdomen that it always used too. My head snapped back to look at Vic, our hands staying joined.
"L-Look Kellin, I...I screwed up, so bad, and if you hate me a-and never want to see me again...I understand...b-but could we...could we just go for a coffee sometime? N-Not as a date or anything, j-just a catch up, I-I know I hurt you, b-but I'd like that, if you would." He chewed on his lip nervously, which made trying to resist throwing myself at him just that much harder. He was still a drug, and I was still clearly addicted. Even after all this time, he really did have the same hold on me, if not more so now I know what it's like to have him, and then be without him.
There was silence as I debated with myself. I wanted to say yes, my heart was telling me 'say yes', but every other inch of me was screaming 'run away now, this can only hurt you more'. I knew my head and body where right, it was killing me just standing here with him, outside some bar, let alone being sat drinking coffee with him. But, at the same time, I couldn't deny my heart, I'd missed Vic, and maybe...maybe this could be a good thing. Maybe I could get some closure, or maybe...maybe we could find a way to be friends. I cringed internally at that thought, I didn't want to be 'just friends' with Vic, but...if it meant I didn't have to miss him anymore, or carrying on knowing how it feels to be without him in my life. I guessed it was worth a shot.

"O-Okay."
Vic's face lit up, before very quickly dropping back down, leaving only a hint of his happiness to my answer. "Really?"
"Yeah, sure." I gave him a small nod.
"W-What you doing tomorrow?"
"I'm working at twelve, b-but I'm free beforehand."
"Starbucks, ten o'clock?"
"Yeah, sure. I...I really should get back..."
"Yeah, course, uh, I'll see you tomorrow yeah? The Starbucks closest to you?"
"Yeah, see you tomorrow, you where great up there, btw the way."
"Uh, thanks."
"Sure, um, see you." I gave him a nod and small smile, before letting my hand drop from his and dashing inside.

Soon as I got back inside the bar, I stopped and propped myself up against the wall, trying to calm myself down. Why? Why did he have to show up? Just when being without him got a little less painful, just when I'd adjusted and accepted the fact that he was gone. Why did life hate me so much? Seeing him again took me straight back to square one. It brought back every single feeling he ever made me feel, every single memory we had to the front of my mind and it all crashed down at once. I felt like crying, I felt like screaming, I felt like punching a wall. But at the same time, I felt happy, I felt like smiling for seeing him again. There was so many other emotions mixed in there too and it was over baring. I had to get out of here, a part of me didn't want to leave, me and Maude had been having a good night, but I had too. I needed to get home, curl up in bed and try and get my head straight before tomorrow. That was going to be mission impossible in itself. And I couldn't even tell Maude. If I did, I knew she'd have a few choice words to say, and I knew she'd try and stop me. Not only that she'd probably find Vic in here and have a few choice words to say in front of everyone I didn't really fancy being in that situation. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before heading back over to our table.