Shape Unsheltered

CHAPTER -25-

HAPPY READING 🥰

Cindy Washington

"That is not the way you walked in there a moment ago."

I shrug not wanting to say anything before I hear what he has to say. I thought nothing could've soured my good mood but here I sulk waiting but not patiently.

"Come here, come talk to me." he reaches out for my hands but I fold them under my breast tucking my fingers in.

"Tell me what went wrong in the God-awful time you took in the bathroom." I still didn't say anything and I lower my eyes to the floor.

He stands to his feet and walks over to me. "Are you worried about our talk or is it about last night."

"Both."

"Cindy this only works if you talk to me, tell me what are you worried about. I don't want to assume anything and act impulsively based on the wrong idea. So tell me."

I sigh "I'm worried I might have rushed things between us last night and I'm scared about what you have to say."

"What exactly are you scared of, is it me? Because I don't regret last night, I can't tell you how long I've waited for that moment and I don't want you to regret it either." He looks at me with feelings I don't want to admit. At least not yet. "Do you regret it, Cindy?"

"No, I dont."

He put his hand on his waist and takes in a breath of relief as he looks at me.

"DeMarcus I haven't done well in this aspect of my life. I was divorced by age twenty-seven and now at age thirty-two, I don't know if I can get it right. I can't afford to put myself or my heart through all that again." I say in one Breathe to the point of tears.

"Breathe woman, deep breath." I take a deep breath on his instructions, in through my nose, and exhale through my mouth but it didn't help my nerves. My heart only beats harder in my chest as I look at him.

"Come sit with me, let me talk with you," he takes my hand and walks us back to his bed. He sits down bracing his back to the headboard and places me on his lap. The emotions swirling in the pit of my stomach and the way he cuddles me overtake my senses. I break down on his shoulder at the level of comfort and concern on his face. In all of six years, I haven't had this wave of emotional support. The way he holds me to his chest rubbing soothing circles on my back had me sobbing harder and I can't control myself.

"Cry it all out, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I lift my head in an instant sobbing uncontrollably to his face. I try to blink away my tears to search his eyes for any trace of a lie. But the more I look at his face, the more my eyes fill up with tears and I can't control it or the surge of emotions pooling in my stomach, heart, and head. He comforts me.

DeMarcus is very patient as he sits silently, rubbing soothingly on my back to calm me down. On average I think I cried for close to half an hour. When I sober up he tilts my head to look at him, he wipes my eyes with the pad of his thumb. He reaches over to his nightstand takes out a kleenex tissue and hands it to me. Not to embarrass myself further I didn't blow my nose, I squeeze my nose to stop it from running. I must look a mess right now but he didn't seem to mind.

"Are you feeling better pretty girl?" I nod not able to say anything.

"Cindy listens to me, you were young and put into a complicated situation. You tried to please everyone at the expense of yourself. You never have to compromise your identity for the people who say they love you. You never have to choose and you shouldn't. When we are young it's our opportunity to be dumb, make mistakes, break up to make up, learn and most importantly find ourselves amongst the chaos. I don't expect you to be perfect and without blemishes, I would be a fool if I told you I am. I love your imperfections and all, that has never changed. I've made my fair share of mistakes and one is not doing right by you."