Shape Unsheltered

CHAPTER -3-

HAPPY READING 🥰

Cindy Washington

I pull up in front of her house, I honk my horns as the security approaches my car and asked for my information. I told him my name and I'm here for Mrs Chesney. He told me to hold on while he confirms with her.

Five minutes later she came out with her arms crossed in front of her, "Ji...Jinette" I stutter hesitantly getting out of my car. "I'm sorry...... I apologize, your friendship means more to me than what you think," I say immediately letting her know why I'm here.

"You have no idea what I'm thinking Cindy."

"Ok...., that's true. I'm here to make things right between us Jinette."

"Why now," she looks away from me as if she's searching for something or someone.

"I've hurt you and our friendship, the way I did things wasn't satisfactory or fair to you, but I'm here imperfections and all, saying I'm sorry."

"Cindy you didn't have to stay, I never said you had to. I loved you like a sister. All I asked were to pick my phone calls, I tried so many times to reach you, I left you so many messages but I wasn't important on your career to-do list. You could have left Sean that's not the issue here, it's the way you did things as if our friendship meant nothing to you."

"I assure you it wasn't to hurt you, none of it was to hurt any of you, it was simply for myself. I'm here because your friendship means a great deal to me."

"Yeah that's all you were thinking about is yourself."

"Jinette if that were true, I wouldn't be here, I would've never returned. I felt like you accepted Sean side in everything, not once did you ask me what I  needed at the time. You laid out your demands like everyone else; Cindy do this, Cindy do that. What am I to do?  Tell me, just do as you say. Not once did you ever asked how did any of this affect me? Everyone just assumed I just wake up one day and I didn't want the life, I lived for years. Do you honestly believe that Jinette?" I pause to catch my breath because I was becoming emotional, my heart is pounding in my chest and I didn't want to overreact. "You honestly believe I wasn't hurting, or the nights I spend crying my eyes out feeling empty, useless, drained, and alone made me feel nothing. Never, not once I can remember you finding out how I was. It was always about you and what you needed and I'm the selfish one here, honestly."

"Cindy," she said stunned. I can see she wasn't expecting my tone or what I said.

"It's ok Jinette, I'm sorry in thinking you as a woman would understand me or any of my feelings. Be a friend to me as I were to you. You had your whole life laid out on a platter, do you know how hard I worked my ass off, only to be told to be contented with being a wife. It's the ultimate goal you said, you know why because you had your career all lined up for you, you never had to worry about it, do you even know how I had to work to accomplish any of it, how I beat myself up for it too. But that would never occur to you because your life is so sheltered and everything should revolve around your sunny behind. Every damn thing I ever needed I had to asked of Sean, the simplest of things I didn't have my own money for, do you know how that feels. DO YOU." I shouted. I couldn't contain my emotions anymore.

"You know what, sorry to waste your time. Thinking I can be the bigger woman and come to you as a friend, but you will never see the bigger picture, for this very reason it took me all this time to come to you, sorry to waste your time Jinette. I wish you the very best."

I walk back to my car getting in and driving back to my house, leaving her standing there. My chest was heaving up and down and I know I couldn't hold it any longer. As soon as I walk through the door I break down and cried my heart out, I cried for every raw emotion I am feeling. I don't know how long I sit on the floor crying but when I pull myself together, I realize I'm late for my flight. I call the airline, they told me the flight has been delayed, and if I get there within the next half an hour I can board the plane. I call a taxi and rush upstairs to the bedroom to pick my hand luggage and keys. Thank heaven, I didn't have other luggage to check and I packed before going out with Steph. I thank my lucky stars and exit the house locking the front door behind me.

No sooner the taxi arrived and we drove off to the airport, my mind Is racing as I looked out the window. the little hope I had, thinking I can salvage our relationship went out the window the moment it came through the door. I was so foolish in thinking she would understand but life goes on.

When I look at the review mirror only then did I realize my tears stained face and how red my eyes are? As soon as the car stop in the airport parking lot, I pay the driver and rush out, running to the checkpoint.

As I walk onto the terminal, I tried to clean my face the best I can, I didn't want the other passengers to think I cried all the way here.

To my surprise when I get to my seat, I am seated next to Zoriah the girl I met on my way travelling to New York. "What a coincidence, Cindy right," she said.

"Yes Zoriah," I smile down at her, as I was placing my handpiece in the overhead storage.

As soon as I take my seat next to her, she said "you've been crying, didn't you want to leave."

I smile at how genuinely concern she looks and didn't know me. "It's nothing," I say not wanting to talk to a stranger about how I'm feeling.

"You know, a problem shared is a problem half solved." She said looking at me hopefully.

I didn't know what else to say so I told her everything as tears roll down my cheeks. Today is a very emotional day and I'm physically exhausted at this point. Zoriah didn't say a word but listen intently and nod occasionally. She held my hand when she saw tears rolling down my face. I couldn't believe a stranger would comfort me this way and it's what I needed. I needed a friend.

"So let me get this straight, you were married and had a child at an early age. Seven years later, you wanted to pursue your career and your family and friends think you did the worse thing on this planet by putting yourself first for once."

I nod hesitantly as I become choked up that a stranger, who knows nothing about me can understand within a second.

"Did you consider at the time to travel with your husband?"

"Ex-husband, we are divorced."

"Where's your son now."

"He lives with my ex-husband and his wife."

"What! He remarried."

"Well, I needed some space and time to process what was going on with me and how to handle it. When he wouldn't give me the space I asked for, I moved. Every move I make he is ten toes behind. When I brought up work he wanted to purchase a building and I can start there. I told him I didn't have the experience and needed to start small working with the best, working my way up then we can talk about us owning our own. He wasn't having it, he made all his demands and expected me to follow them as usual, that only angered and triggered me further and I went off the rails and told him I'm moving to Italy. I had to make a really tough decision, now I feel so unsheltered because I have no one in my corner."

"You're a brave woman and it's ok to cry. Take a few minutes to grief and be depressed about it, you did all this with no one in your corner and still manage to look so wholesome. Look Cindy I don't know you but from my observation, I can tell you're a very strong woman. Your son will never hate you. You had four great years with him, that's enough to build a bond. I commend you for trying to make it work with your ex-husband and his wife for your son. Look at you travelling back and forth every month just to have one weekend with your son, if you had stayed you may have resented both your husband and son, you might have become a bitter woman. You did the best you could at the time for you, you've hurt people in the process then apologize, if they aren't willing to forgive you then you are better off without them. Cindy to error is human but to forgive it's divine if they can't forgive you it's their loss you have to make peace with yourself,  that is the worst battle you can fight, is with yourself. They will miss out on the incredible woman you're about to become. Best of all forgive yourself."

After listening to Zoriah, I cried even harder that was all I needed to hear and it felt incredible to hear those words from someone. She doesn't know me and can judge my character perfectly, while those around me threw me aside because I wanted more for myself.

I know I didn't give them much of a chance but I thought I was worth fighting for. I cried on Zoriah shoulders until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

Dedicated to SoulPeace7 to whom I base Zoriah character.