150 Things Thatch is NOT allowed to do

Rules #1-15

Okay, that wasn't cool. Totally unfair in all regards. Right beside Ace's overly long list, a new one was hammered into the wood with the beginning of a new rule list. At first, he thought they were just adding even more rules for Ace, but no, they weren't.

This was so unfair.

Those assholes.

The following rules apply to Fourth Division commander "Twin Swords" Thatch. There are to be no exceptions. Please realize that breaking a rule will result in harsh punishments from your own division, as well as any other involved divisions.

Fuck them.

1.) QUIT trying to help Pops replace his IV with sake.

Thatch: It's their fault for trying to control his drinking. Let a man drink in peace, damn it.

Curiel: I'll tell you this only once more, Thatch. He can drink, but you CAN'T replace his medically required IV for the sake of some alcohol. It's a health issue, man!

Thatch: pffft. Whatever.

Marco: Thatch.

Thatch: >.< fine, Marco.

2.) STOP telling people that the noise Marco makes in his phoenix form is his version of a 'Mating Call'. Especially to Ace, no one wants to deal with that sexual tension.

Thatch: Come on, our darling first division commander needs to get laid, ASAP. I've offered to be his wingman, but no go. And as for Ace? They just need a little push to resolve said sexual tension.

Marco: WHAT sexual tension?!?!

Ace: Marco? I'm confused here.

Marco: Don't ask about it Ace, just drop it this instant. Right, Thatch?

Thatch: Mhm, sure. No more announcing your mating calls.

Marco: Thatch!!

3.) QUIT trying to hook Marco up with other well-known bird zoans because you're tired of him and Ace's pussyfooting around each other.

Thatch: I'm pretty sure Pell was almost on board. I made sure to hype you up to him, man, like a good bro!

Fossa: A warning, I'm pretty sure Marco is hunting you down Thatch. Look out.

Thatch: Hey! It was not just me! It was Izou's idea first!

Izou: Oh, you rat!

Marco: You both are going to die. You won't know when, and you won't know how, but you are both going to bite it. I'll make sure of that.

Thatch: Marco! Why are you so scary?!

4.) STOP recommending 'Crybaby' as an option for the captain and commanders' movie nights. (*)

Thatch: It's a good movie!

Jiru: No, it's really not.