The Distance Within

14

E.

"August..." Color has drained from my face long ago as they fell on the razor laying coldly on the floor tiles.

My head clouded and throat clocked while my heart pounded, not knowing what type of reaction I was supposed to show.

Not sure how calm I should come across the situation, not sure what I should say, not sure if my face hasn't already screamed a million things.

"Evelyn, please leave." He calmly says, hands turned inwards in the water hiding, so he was - was really harming again?

"August, please why? W - Why?"

"Evelyn! Leave." He says louder this time a deadly glint in his icy eyes.

"Is this because of - " of me?

My throat drains of any words , the knot pressing my heart untangles and drops it between my legs. My eyes widely staring straight into his eyes, tears blurring mine at the frightening thought - frightening reality.

"EVELYN IM NAKED FUCKING LEAVE!" Flinching back at his voice my mind wraps up around the situation we were in now.

Nodding my head slowly, I could feel my veins shutting when my hand tightened around the door handle slamming it closed while my body rested against it.

My heart beats accelerating when I hear shuffling from the inside the closed door, attempting to swallow back the burning heat forming behind my eyes. Pushing them back into my throat where an even bigger lump forms inbetween my chest walls.

The burning turning into a sore ache and hiccups, my hands shivery by my side at the concept of August never stopping, of August finding relief in that blade, of August losing himself.

Because of who? Me. A fact he had made crystal clear yesterday.

"Mommy! Late now?" Xander's calling reminds me of his wish to swim in the lake when everyone around was already leaving for dinner.

"Yes, love!" I reassure with the highest my shaky voice could reach.

Pressing my hand flat against the door I turn my head sideways, my throat feeling thick and heavy, my eyes closed as I run after comfort, any type of ease I've been craving for so long now.

"Mommy!" His stubborn voice beams again, found.

There was my comfort and ease. There was my love.

Inching towards the living room, I bend down grabbing our bag, coming back up quickly, white spots forming in my vision, my hand looking for the closest thing I could grip, my hand coming in contact with a chair, my head bent down while I try to gain back my conscious pushing away my nausea.

The ringing of my phone beams throughout the empty cabin destroying the silent aurora it held, a familiar number I wasn't in the mood for popping up the screen. "Good afternoon, Mr Oliver." An old client I worked with for a couple months a year ago.

"Hello, Evelyn. How are you doing?"

"Just fine, you?" My stomach still flips, churning and making an uncomfortable sensation run through me.

"Doing good, I have heard you were taking a break from work and I'm very sorry to be calling you now but there is something I'd like to ask you about." His posh voice comes through the phone, sincerity and seriousness thickly laced together.

"It's no problem, and tell me what the issue is." I calmly reply back, pushing out my voice to sound professional, my hand still griping the chair tight, knuckles going white.