Marvel One-Shot Book!

YOU are Spiderman?!

 OMG, I saw No Way Home and I have so many mixed emotions rn. Like, poor Peter. 

Peter Parker is Spider-man. 

Sssh. It's a secret. In fact, only Tony, May, Ned, MJ and Pepper know. Well, and you readers. 

Anyway, Tony had decided that he was going to take Peter to one of his Avenger meetings and introduce Peter. As his intern, of course. 

But of course, Parker Luck™ had to rear its head.

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Tony barged into the already full room, fashionably late. Behind him, Peter was looking like a lost puppy.

"Finally." Fury growled, "Sit down Stark...who is this?" It seems that Fury had noticed Peter. 

Tony dramatically turned around to face Peter, looking as if he just noticed Peter was there. Internally, Peter was rolling his eyes at his fathe-mentor. Mentor, not father. 

"Oh! This is Peter. He's my intern. Mini-genius."

Fury looked done with life. Steve looked like he wanted to go under the ice again. And Natasha? Well as professional as ever, though Peter could make out that she was curious.

"Hi." He squeaked.

Fury looked like he wanted to dig his own grave and bury himself alive. "And is this Peter going to stay here for this meeting?"

Tony confidently plopped down in his seat, "Well unless you plan on sharing national secrets, I don't see why not." 

Peter did not like being the centre of attention. Everyone was staring at him and all he could do was clutch his notebook harder. 

Fury gave a long-suffering sigh. "Well, sit down."

Peter didn't move. Two seconds later, he noticed everyone but himself was seated. "Oh. You're talking to me? Yeah." With a glance at Mr Stark, he sat on the floor. 

"There is a chair right- never mind."

Fury cleared his throat, "I have called you all today to discuss a particularly evasive vigilante." Pause for dramatic effect. "Spiderman"

Peter promptly choked on his spit.

And.. everyone was staring at him again. Mr Stark, the traitor he was, looked amused!

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's just- um I was surprised."

Fury looked extremely annoyed at him for disturbing the meeting. The rest either looked bored, amused or curious. 

Again, Peter did not want to be there. 

Fury cleared his throat, "Moving on, Spiderman is an unknown powered individual who we know next to nothing about. He could be dangerous."

Peter did not like this one bit and Mr. Stark's near-silent sNiCkErInG didn't help.

Mr. Rogers spoke up. "Well, judging by his height, voice and body structure we know that he is a male, probably in his late 20's or early '30s."

THIRTIES! McScuze me Captain Popsicle but Peter was not ancient like him. The offended noise Peter made was honestly inhuman. 

Peter saw the high ceiling and decided to do something he would probably regret. He inched behind a pillar and started climbing. 

"Stark, what do you know about him."

"Not much. I just came up to him and asked him to help in exchange for a new suit."

"He thought my arm was cool and started spouting science about birdbrains' wings."

Halfway up, Peter caught someone's eye. Natasha Romanoff's eyes widened comically before she managed to compose herself. Peter smiled cheekily and waved. 

"Well, we still know next to nothing about him. Sure, he helps people and does not seem to have any ulterior motive but it is still safer to have information on a rogue powered individual."

Natasha's disbelieving and slightly concerned eyes flickered towards Peter's position. "What do you plan on doing with him when you know his identity."

"Well, if he is not a threat then it will be wise to recruit him. He seems powerful."

Peter was sitting on the ceiling. Upside down. Tony was smirking and Natasha just wanted Spiderman to not be the skinny 10-year-old who was sitTING ON THE CEILING.

"Does anybody know what his powers are?"

"We know he has super-strength, stickiness and webbing."

"Peter knows a lot about Spider-Man. I'm sure he can help us out."

Sam snorts. "He can't possibly know more than us."

"Wait, where did he even go."

Peter, knowing what Mr. Stark wanted him to do, activated his web-shooters. Slowly lowering himself down on a strand of webbing. 

"Peter, what do you know about Spider-man."

Upside-down, hanging from a web attached to the ceiling, Peter answered in the sassiest voice he could muster. "Well, I dunno. His identity for one."

A bunch of people were startled. Tony openly grinned. Natasha looked resigned and concerned. And Fury? Fury looked done with life. 

"Are you serious? You are Spider-man?!"

"I'm done. This job isn't worth it."