1.
ben and alex: we would do anything for you guys
rest of the eungang: we want you two to stop shouldering all of the responsibilities and the blame
ben and alex: absolutely not
2.
alex: you read my diary?
ben: at first i didnt know it was your diary. i just thought it was a very sad handwritten book
3.
gerard: alex im begging you, pls let me help
alex: oh im sorry, is this OUR emotional baggage?
4.
grape: just be yourself.
jimmy: really? grape, i have one day to win over jack’s parents.
jimmy: how long did it take for you guys to like me?
jake: couple of weeks.
forrest: six months.
wolf: jury’s still out.
jimmy: see grape? ‘just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!
5.
donald: *answers phone* hello?
dongha: it's dongha.
donald: what did he do this time?
dongha: no, it's me, donald. it's actually me.
donald: what did you do this time?
6.
dean, teaching jake to drive: okay, you're driving and grape and wolf walk into the road. quick, what do you hit?
jake: oh, definitely wolf. i could never hurt grape.
dean, massaging his temples: the brakes. you hit the brakes.
7.
gray: do you take constructive criticism
ben: not without crying
8.
wolf, visibly ruffled: sorry im late, i was doing stuff
grape: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS
9.
grape: i wish i was a dinosaur
forrest: why? because they're big and scary?
grape: because they're dead
10.
robin: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material
grape: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.
11.
jake: time for plan G
jimmy: don’t you mean plan B?
jake: no, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties
forrest: what about plan D?
jake: plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago
dean: what about plan E?
jake: i’m hoping not to use it. grape dies in plan E
wolf: i like plan E
12.
jack: jimmy is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. what should i do?
wolf: punch him in the stomach. then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him
jake: tackle him!
forrest: dump him
grape: kick him in the shin!
jimmy: no to all of those! just ask me to lean down!!
13.
dean, rubbing their temples: i am not proud of what i am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette
jake: but dean, we don't smoke.
dean: cut the crap, jake, i'm not an idiot. i know that one in five people smoke
dean: *points at grape* one! *points at forrest* two! *points at jimmy* three! *points at jack* four! *points at robin* five!
dean: now, i am going to close my eyes, and when i open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!
grape: *puts a cigarrette in deans hand*
dean: thank you. ...light?
rest of the union: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*
14.
rowan: between alex, ben, and gerard—if you had to—who would you punch?
teddy: no one! they're my friends. i wouldn't punch any of them
rowan: gerard?
teddy: yeah, but i don't know why
15.
rowan: imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life
gray: it would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...
eugene: oh wow, my childhood innocence! thank you for finding this.
gerard: my will to live! i haven't seen this in years.
alex: i knew i lost that potential somewhere
teddy: mental stability, my old friend!
rowan: jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?
16.
dean, walking into the school: hello, people who do not go here
jimmy: hey
wolf: hi
forrest: hello
grape: hey!
dean: you guys arent supposed to be here unless there's a union meeting!
jimmy: yoosun was out of doritos
17.
timothy: i’m the smartest person in my friend group
grape: you hang out with jake and eunchan
grape: it’s not as high a compliment as you think
YOU ARE READING
incorrect weak hero
Fanfictioni saw someone do this and hey, im already running an incorrect weak hero blog so might as well
