incorrect weak hero

september 1, 2021

1.

rowan: dumbest scar stories, go!

gerard: i burned my tongue once drinking tea

teddy: i dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned

alex: i have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade

ben: i was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn

gray: i have emotional scars

2.

jake: the floor is lava!

jimmy: *helps jack onto the counter*

wolf: *kicks forrest off the sofa*

grape: *lays on the floor*

jake: ...are you okay?

grape: no.

3.

*the union's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

jake: i will not let you down

dongha: sounds fun

forrest: k

wolf, jimmy: no, im fucking not

seongmok: do i have to be?

kingsley: please god, i am so tired

4.

ben: we're kind of missing something guys

rowan: cohesion?

gerard: teamwork?

alex: a general sense of what we're doing?

eugene: and gray is not here

rowan: oh, and that, yeah

5.

forrest: is it still visible? where wolf slapped me?

robin: your face looks like a don't walk signal

sam: your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box

robin: a palm reader could tell wolf's future by looking at your face

sam: the phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face

forrest: ...a simple 'yes' would've sufficed

6.

jake : bye grape! bye wolf! bye forrest! bye jimmy! bye grape!

dean: you said 'bye grape' twice

jake: i like grape

7.

jake: okay! let's play Kiss Marry Kill!

jake: first who would you kill?

*forrest points at wolf*

*sam points at wolf*

*jimmy points at wolf*

wolf: *shrugs* i would kill me too

8.

robin: you're a lying piece of shit!

forrest: oh yeah? you're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

robin: i'm leaving and i'm taking grape with me!

grape, gathering cards: aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today

9.

eugene: if you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

gray: sober

gerard: maybe a bit tipsy?

ben: drunk.

teddy, alex: wasted.

rowan: dead.

10.

*everyone is giving advice to alex*

gerard: it's okay to ask for help.

ben: you're not a burden

teddy: murder is okay

rowan: your feelings matter