Amelias POVEllie and I are heading home today. She has school tomorrow and isn't excited to go home just to go to school.
I am excited to see Arizona. We planned to go out at first but decided to just stay in at my place, she didn't want me to miss the first night before school with Ellie and I appreciate that,
Ellie and I are already packed up and waiting downstairs in Addisons living room until we are leaving for the airport, Charlotte was also over with the girls and the 5 kids were playing on the floor
"You need to come for a visit" I tell Charlotte, Addison had came the first week we were in Seattle but Charlotte hasn't made it up yet
"I know and I need to meet this lady of yours"
She says and I chuckle,"I would love that" I smile
"Plan a weekend next month? Maybe we can come down or you guys can come up to see us" I say
"As long as we get to meet this girlfriend" Charlotte says and I roll my eyes
"You'll meet her one day" I smile and look down at my phone for the time
"We have to get going" I tell Addison and she nods
"Ellie it's time to say goodbye" I tell her
"Mommy no" she whines
"We'll see them again soon" I told her and she stands up and walks over to Addison
"I don't want to go" she says holding onto Addison
"Ellie" I sigh and rub my fingers through her hair
"We never get to see them anymore, and I have no friends in Seattle! Only Sofia and she doesn't like me, I don't want to start a new school. I don't want new friends or cousins I want to stay here!" She yells and runs upstairs and Addison and Charlotte give me sympathetic looks while the kids just looked confused
"I'll go talk to her" Addison says and I stop her
"No this is something I need to do" I say and she nods and I walk up the stairs to the bedroom Ellie and I had been staying in And the door was locked
"Eleanor open the door" I say
"I don't want to go!" She yells back
"Eleanor Ryan open the door" I say more sternly and I hear her walk across the floor and comes and unlocks it and walks away, I walked in and she was sitting on the bed
I shut the door behind me and walks over to her and she wraps her arms around me and I do the same to her
"Ellie you're going to be fine. You're going to have so much fun at school" I tell her, running my thumb over her forehead. She always enjoyed school,
"I don't know anyone" she sniffles
"You know Lena, and you'll meet friends," I tell her
"Lena is old" she comments and I laugh
"Lena is not that old" I tell her and she smiles
"Do we have to go back?" She ask and I nod
"We do" I tell her and she sits up to look at me
"I'm sorry for yelling" she says and I nod
"I know, and you need to apologize to auntie Addie too" I tell her and she nods
"I know" she sighs and we walk back downstairs and she goes over to Addison who is talking with Charlotte
"I'm sorry for yelling" Ellie tells her and Addison bends down to her height
"It's okay, I know you're just upset and we'll see you very soon I promise" Addison tells her and she smiles
"I love you" Ellie tells her. I know I can be hard on her when it comes to L.A, I know she loves it here and would much rather stay then go back to Seattle. I also can't have her acting out every time we come down either
We said our goodbyes and Addison drove us to the airport while Charlotte stayed with Henry
"I love you and I'll call when we land" I tell Addison and give her a hug
"I love you too" she says and does the same to Ellie
On the plane Ellie and I had a row to ourselves and she sat against the window while I was near the isle
"Mommy?" She says and I look over to her away from my book
"Yea?" I ask and she sighs
"Maybe when we come back to L.A we can see dad?" She ask, she has never asked to see Ryan before, I have taken her a few times when she was little, after she was born it was really hard to go there and think fo what could have been a family, Ryan would have made the best dad
The first time I took Ellie to see Ryan it was two days after her first birthday, she wasn't the best walker outside and wobbled as I held her hand because she didn't want to be carried, I led her to Ryans grave and stopped, kneeling down next to her I ran my fingers over the lettering on the head stone,
Ellie was only one and only said a few words, but one of them was 'dada'. Now she didn't have a father alive or a father figure but I did show her a bunch of photos of Ryan, before the drugs. I made sure she knew who Ryan was.
It was hot when I took her to see ryan the first time, she was in a blue summer dress and I had on a tank top and Jean shorts, after running my fingers over the lettering I sighed and laid down the blanket I brought so we could sit, and Ellie did. She didn't fight, she didn't want to walk. She just sat and stared at the headstone. It wasn't a fancy one but it was perfect to me. It was shaped kind of like a tear drop and had a picture of Ryan at the top in a little circle, below was all the writing,
Ellie looked up at the picture and she smiles and clapped her hands,
"Dada!" She exclaims and pointed to the picture, I was so lost in my own world I hadn't noticed her staring and smiling until she talked
"Yea baby, that's dada"'I smiled
It was the middle of July and I hadn't planned on staying long, she was a one year old I was sure she would be fussy and didn't want to stay past 5 minutes. So I didn't put sunscreen on her, and we couldn't stay out too long in fear of her getting burnt
She threw a fit when we left and just kept crying for 'dada' it broke my heart to see my baby girl in so much distress
After that I took her to see Ryan at least once a week if I could, and each time she would look up at his photo and just babble
That lasted until she was two and each week turned into once a month, and we stayed like that for a while, but over the years we stopped coming as often and she never asked to come
She still knew who Ryan was, there was always a picture of him hung in her room,
Ryan is one of the things Addison argued with me on about Ellie, she didn't think it was right to be taking a one year old to the cemetery, or about me telling Ellie about her father, she was wrong. She wouldn't understand, couldn't understand. I know Ryan and I did bad things, and I wish I could undo it all. But in the end I loved Ryan and he gave me the best gift of all Eleanor Ryan Shepherd
"Yea, next time we are in L.A I will take you to see your dad" I answer
Till next time ❤️
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Thank you seattle (Amezona)
FanfictionAmelia Shepherd lives in L.A with all of her friends and her 9 year old daughter Eleanor or Ellie for short. Amelia is an ex drug addict and woke up in bed one morning to her dead fiancé, Ellie's father. Amelia loves L.A and all of her friends but w...