draft one.

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to : elaine_black@gmail.com

subject : i caught you looking at me

The first thing I noticed about you today is that you grew your hair out. It curls up to your waist now, soft and dark. You know that I don't like girls with long hair.

But, now, maybe I am starting to.

When I looked over at you during your cheerleading sessions, I caught you looking at me. I stared, in hopes that you'd do it again — that you'd allow me to have the ephemeral satisfaction of locking my gaze with you, to have the familiar, exhilarating electricity zap through my veins until all in my head was you.

You didn't look at me twice.

Do you detest me? Does the mention of my name makes you want to crack open your chest, grab your heart and throw it out onto the filthy ground? Does my name makes you want to stomp over your own heart until the thrumming goes away? Because, your name still has that effect on me.

I detest you, Elaine Black. I detest you so much now that it hurts to even look at you.

____________________

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