A Sinful Forbidden Affair

Chapter 25

Tila hindi maubos-ubos ang masaganang luhang dumadaloy sa mukha ni Michelle.

Nanghihinang napaupo siya sa baby nursing chair.

Michelle picked it personally for it was a combination of breastfeeding and rocking chair. She let her tears ran down her face. Hindi niya tinangkang pigilan ang sarili. She needed to vent it all out. She needed to deal with the pain of loss, grief, the realization of fears, and the pain of a mother who lost her child.

She is frustrated and angry with herself. She was able to save a lot of babies through her foundation but when it comes to her own baby? she failed. She failed to preserve and protect her own child. It is her own flesh and blood whom she failed.

Michelle never knew she could get hurt like this, not even when Zenith left her.

She trained herself to be the toughest she could ever be. She was brought up by alpha parents; her father trained her not just to be someone else's queen, but to be the king herself. Her mom taught her how she could be a stepford wife while managing an empire. She mastered the act of being nonchalantly affected, not to show weakness nor emotions to be used by her competitors against her.

She was trained to be composed in any given circumstance or situation. No showing of emotion was allowed, nor any kind of weakness that could be found and be used against her.

What happened to Angela was too much to take, and too much to bear. Napakahirap harapin ang umagang darating na wala na ang anak mo.

As Angela grew inside Michelle slowly, unexplainable happiness always succumbed her. She was so excited to see her baby. To make Angela feel her love, ngunit hindi na siya binigyan pa ng pagkakataong magawa ang mga iyon. Angela gave her a new reason to fight for life.

Wala nang mas sasakit pa sa mawalan ng anak. Anak na hindi na nabigyan ng pagkakataong maranasan ang sarap at pait nang mabuhay sa mundo. She was ready to be the best mom she could ever be. Hinding-hindi niya ipararanas dito ang kung ano man ang naranasan niya. She was going to give everything she could and anything in her power for her baby.

Emotions flooded her as she saw the printed sonogram copy of Angela inside a frame. As she inhaled, she smelled her baby's faint scent. Michelle closed her eyes, an image of Angela smiling back at her went inside her mind.

She bit her hand to stop her from crying, but she cant.

Handa siyang ibigay kahit ang pa ang sariling buhay para dito. Kahit ang buhay pa niya ang kapalit ay ayos lang, madugtungan lamang ang buhay nito. Naranasan na niya halos lahat sa buhay, her own life wouldn't matter for the sake of her Angela.

Michelle scanned Angela's room. She meticulously chose all the things inside her room. Mula sa crib nito that could be her bed in the future. Her changing table, her toys, books, her pillows, her feeding bottles, and most importantly, her clothes.

She stood up, slowly opened the drawer, and found baby Angela's onesies. She grabbed one, inhaled it, and hugged it close to her heart.

"My baby . . . Angela."

Michelle's voice broke and tears started to pool again beside her eyes. Nanlalabo na ang kaniyang mga paningin dahil sa mga nagbabadyang mga luha na unti-unting naglandas sa kaniyang mga pisngi.

Her body started to rock as uncontrollable sobs came one after the other. Tila isang kandilang nauupos ay dahan-dahan siyang napaupo. She couldn't care less how she would look like. Wala na siyang pakialam pa, dahil wala na siyang gana pang mabuhay pa.

Mahigpit niyang niyakap ang damit ng anak. Ang mga damit na hindi na nito kailanman maisusuot pa.

"Angela, Anak." Michelle lightly brushed the sleeve of the onesie, dreaming of holding her hand from it. Ang mga kamay nitong hindi na niya magagawang mahawakan at hagkan.