I love you, Goodbye

F O U R T Y~ T H R E E

Zach

I didn't sleep last night, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. I heard Daniel gasp, but I didn't want to be bothered so I attempted to make it not obvious that I was awake. Then my attention was drawn to the sound of gasping and music. The person singing had a gorgeous voice. I opened my eyes and noticed all the guys gathered around Daniel's bunk, looking at his phone. "What's going on?" I asked. They all looked at me. "I thought you and Celeste fixed things at the airport?" Jack looked at me confused.

"Did she tell you?" I asked. "Tell us what?" Corbyn asked. I sighed and rolled over. "Nothing" I shut my eyes. I heard the music get turned all the way up. "They're gonna send me to the ER with the things you do to my heart, they can't give me all the stitches, but, part of me is missing, it's you" I listened to the lyrics and the voice. It was Celeste's. "That didn't sound like nothing to me. And you heard how set Celeste was on never releasing any of her songs" Daniel spoke.

"So you said something to her last night that made her post these" Daniel looked at me. "These...? How many songs?" I asked. "Three" Jonah sighed. "She also posted a video but the title was just a date so we'll worry about it later" Jonah added. I didn't say anything else. I heard them all walking away. Once they closed the door, I took a deep breath, grabbed my phone and went to her channel. I listened to all three songs and by the time I was finished, I was crying. I'm doing all this to be with Kay. And I only wanna be with her...because I'm trying to get over Celeste.

As bad as that sounds, Kay was only suppose to be a one night stand, but she started using me for clout to look cool for her friends. This relationship is built off of lies. It's stupid. And I think it's safe to say that it's not helping me get over Celeste at all. I listened to her songs about 5 times each before I finally stopped crying. I cleared my face and got off my bunk. I stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall. The guys looked at me. "How many times did you listen to them?" Jonah asked. "5" I replied.

I sighed. "Last night, I called Celeste, and I said a lot of things I regret saying now. I told her we weren't best friends and that we hadn't been for a while, I....I said....I wanted nothing to do with her...I basically told her to fuck off and you know what she said?" I slightly chuckled. "I said "you aren't gonna cry or argue with me?" and she said..."no, if you wanna leave then go ahead and fucking leave, I'm not gonna stop you" I nodded. "And you wanna know what I said? I said "that's all you have to say" and she said..." I paused and breathed.

"She said "yeah, yeah that's all I gotta say, what do you want me to do? Huh? You want me to cry and scream? No. I can't do that. If I cried every time somebody left, I would never stop crying. So yeah, that's all I gotta say. I can't keep begging for anyone anymore. Why? Because I'm done. I'm done with everything. I'm done with the bullshit, I'm done crying over you, I'm done begging you to stay, I'm done chasing after you when you clearly don't want me there. I've learned my self worth, have you?" And Then she hung up" I explained. They all stared at me.

I felt the tears coming back. "Oh Zach" Jack stood up and hugged me. I cried. "He's only doing this because of Kay" Jonah spoke up. "She has him on a leash, I'm surprised she hasn't made him leave the band yet. It's like she's using him" Jonah scoffed. I looked down. "Zach?" Corbyn looked at me. "Is that true? Is she using you?" Corbyn asked. "No, no she isn't" I avoided eye contact. They all sighed. "You have to fix this before you lose your best friend completely" Daniel looked at me.

"I feel like it's too late for that" I sighed. "She hates me" I cleared my throat. "She doesn't hate you, she's just tired" Corbyn sighed. "How do I fix it?" I asked. "Uh I don't know, but you better do it quick" Jack was looking at his phone with a surprised yet scared face. I walked over and noticed he was looking at Twitter. "The fans are starting to ask questions" Jack looked at me. "Has she answered any of them?" Daniel asked. "No, but she did say she wrote them because she likes writing" Daniel looked up.

"It's not like her to start any drama" Jonah looked confused. "Maybe she was hoping it wouldn't cause any drama?" I looked at them. "Maybe she did it out of anger" Corbyn suggested. "That's definitely what it was, but it's too late for her to take the songs down, almost everyone has heard them by now" Jack sighed. "this is all my fault" I ran my fingers through my hair. "No, it's not your fault" Jack pat me on the back. Jonah looked at him like he was stupid. "Um yes the fuck it is his fault" Jonah bitch faced us.

"Jonah" Jack looked at him. "What? Don't Jonah me. He let his girlfriend come in between him and his best friend. I can understand if they were flirting and Kay didn't like that, but once he started seeing Kay, Ellie started seeing Anthony. So Kay had no reason to be a bitch" Jonah ranted. Everyone looked at him. "We all know Zach still likes Ellie, he doesn't want to, but he does. You can't change that. You can let yourself like her, you just have to wait for her to feel the same way, even if it takes months, years even. If you truly like her, you'll be willing to wait" Jonah looked at me.

I took a deep breath. "Jonah's right. I have to figure things out with Kay" I sighed. "Don't do it now?" Jack looked at me like I was stupid. "Why not???" I looked at him confused. Jack sighed in irritation. "Dude. Everyone is gonna start calling Ellie a home wrecker and they're gonna call you two faced and an idiot" Jack explained. I stared at him, not understanding a word he was saying. "Think about how that would look. Ellie releases her first ever couple of songs" Jack started.

"She tries to say they aren't about you, then all of a sudden you magically start having problems with Kay after speculation that the songs were about you? Everyone's gonna think Ellie was the reason you and Kay are having problems" Jack explained. "And they're gonna call you two faced because of how easy it was for another girl to come between you and Kay" Jack sighed. "So what should he do? He can't just up and leave tour to go see her? And I'm sure she's blocked his number by now-"

"no she hasn't" I cut Corbyn off. "We all know Ellie isn't the blocking type, especially when it comes to me" I shook my head. "But that's not gonna stop her from not answering the phone if you call. Plus, if you get caught with her, that's just gonna start more drama" Jonah replied. "She would answer, she might not be happy to talk to me or she may not let me get a word in but she'd answer. And if I go see her then yeah that's true, plus it would probably make things worse between us" I sighed.

"Wait no it wouldn't, she'd be happy that I put in an effort and actually showed that I cared about her. And she'd think I didn't mean anything I said to her, which I didn't" I nodded. Everyone went quiet. I looked up at them. "Zach, what made you choose Kay over Ellie?" Daniel asked. "Why do you ask?" I asked. "Because, it seems like you care about Ellie a lot and you know more about her than anyone else. When you and Ellie were still on good terms when you first started dating Kay, you barley talked about Kay, it was always Ellie. So what made you choose Kay over her?" Daniel explained.

I know they're my brothers but I definitely don't want to tell them that Kay is using me because then they'll make me break up with her. Maybe I should have chose a better girl to help me get over Ellie.