New me

ch 12; Peter? Is that you?

Peter sits inhaling up with pounding heart from the nightmare who hunts his dreams. Mostly nowadays since he came to Wade's apartment.
The nightmare of smashing at the ground from very high up, passes his mind with the sound of his heartbeats in his ears.
Peter swallows hardly and grabbed the duvet with his hands.
Wade shifts on the bed and turns against him there he places his arm across Peter's lap.
"...What's wrong, baby boy?..." Wade mumbles half asleep.
Peter glances at him and could already feel how his heartbeats decreased.
"Ehm... I-... I've had the same nightmare..." he explains.
Wade raises a none existing eyebrow and woke completely up there he curiously sits up.
"Oh?... Then...Tell me about the nightmare" Wade begs with his body facing against Peter.
Peter furrows his eyebrows and looks down at his clenched fists.
"Ehm... Since I came here... Have my nightmare got more detailed...And I don't know why...Probably since your apartment looks alike the one I'm dreaming about..." he shrugs.
Wade grunts surprised and tilts his head.
"Are you telling me...My apartment gives you nightmares?..." Wade jokes with the corners of his lips tugging insecurity upward.
Peter snorts a slightly smiling at him.
"NO!" He protests.
"The nightmare comes when I left the apartment in my dream... But okay... My dream me, was worried and upset in the apartment..." he adds and looks gloomy down. He really hates those nightmares. And he can't understand why they can't leave him alone.
"...What happened in the apartment then? What made you worry and upset?...Don't tell me you were worried since I wasn't there with you" Wade smirks.
"If I wasn't...Then I will start whispering in your ear each night until you start dreaming about me" he adds snickering.
Peter let's out a short laugh.
" I don't know if the dream would be better or worse if you do that..." he smiles.
"...But yeah... Ehm... I'm with a blurry person in that dream... I can't see his face of some weird reason... But we are talking there the person tries telling me, my father, Tony, tries splitting us apart...I got very upset and left the apartment as spider-man...While I swung through the city I was calling Tony-..." Peter starts explaining without noticing the worry on Wade's face.
Peter gulps.
"And Tony told me... The person in the apartment told me the truth...My father had interfered our relationship and wanted us to break up... I got very mad in the dream and yelled at Tony; how much I hated him... But suddenly something happened...I was out of web...I dropped the phone and a few seconds later I fell quickly against the ground T-there...T-there I thudded A-at the ground..." Peter trembles with increased breathing.
While few tears fell from Peter's eyes, Wade wrapped his arms around him.
Pulling Peter against his chest.
"I'm sorry Peter... If I knew that would happen...I would never let you leave through that window... I should-..." Wade apologizes softly.
Peter flinches.
"How-...How did you knew I left through a window in the dream?"
Wade smiles sadly at him and runs his hand through Peter's hair.
"Since I was the blurry person... Tony never liked me...That bastard... Like there are anything to dislike about me" Wade snorts muttering.
Peter exhales shocked and wides his eyes a little.
Wade shrugs.
"He even told me to dump you...So, I wanted to let you know...But you started yelling at me and accused me to be a liar... " he adds before he chuckling snorts.
"You really loved your parents... Most of the time you took their side... You took every single word they said, as the truth... So, I was really surprised you started dating me since I wasn't the ideal person according to your parents standards..."

Peter swallows nervously.
"Are-...Are you trying to tell me...The dream is a memory?" He asks worried. Which would explain why he always had the feeling the dream was more than a dream.
Wade shrugs.
"I'm not sure... But... When you left me that day...I never saw you again... Later I heard rumors you were dead... So... I thought you either had dumped me, your father kept you away from me or... You've had died... And... Everything were my fault..." Wade explains with lower voice at the end.
Peter shakes his head.
"No... If my dream was true...Then it was my-...Ehm Peter's fault! Not yours!... If Peter only had made sure he had extra cartridges with him...Then... Then he would be here with you... I'm sure about it!"
Wade sighs with a short laugh.
"Then... You wouldn't be here..." he points out.
Peter shrugs.
"Like I care... If I wasn't created from the beginning... I wouldn't have suffered as I had..." Peter says and starts thinking about the dream there he had yelled at Tony. How he hates him. Then he starts thinking about the depressed Tony he'd left weeks ago.
"I better go..." Peter suddenly says and starts untangling himself out from Wade's arms.
"Wait...Where?" Wade blinks confused.
"I have a few things to take care of..." Peter explains while he's sitting on the edge of the bed and starts taking his jeans on. Which he had left on the floor next the bed a few hours ago.
Wade gasps.
"Ehm... Should...Do you want my help?"
Peter stiffen while he thinks about it.
"No-..." he says and stands up there he zips the pants.
"I must do it on my own...But thanks..." he says and pushes his feet into the shoes.
Wade clears his throat.
"You will come back later? Right, baby boy?"
Peter looks bothered over the shoulder at Wade.
"I don't know... I'm not the Peter Stark you once knew... I'm the new me... And right now...I don't know how I want to live my life I was given... But don't worry Wade... If I'm a slightly alike Peter...Then he doesn't want you to blame yourself... Instead he would want you to live your life and find someone else to spoil with your love" Peter tells him and starts heading to the door.
The blue haired man opened the door there the light from the rest of the apartment, appeared as a narrow string across the cold wooden floor and hits Wade's emotional face at the bed.
Peter stops walking and exhales loudly.
"Thank you Wade...For everything" he smiles while he turns half way around.
Wade wides his eyes.
"Stay..." the burn-marked man mumbles pleading.
Peter inhales deeply.
" Don't wait for me to get back... Your Peter is dead...So, start over with your life... You really earn it... You are awesome Wade... Your partner will be the happiest person on earth... I wish you good luck..." Peter adds before he swiftly left the apartment there he grabbed his backpack on the way out.
"Sweetum WAIT!" Wade shouts from the bedroom and shifts on the bed.

Peter dashes down through the stairs and could hear loud footsteps upstairs trying to catch up with him.
He pulls the heavy door opened and left the building there he joined the group of peoples who are heading to their jobs.

Few streets away from Tony's house, Peter exhales relieved and starts slowering down on the steps. Thinking he is out of reach from Wade.
Peter was about to turn around the corner of the fence against the left side, then steps from the right side stopped.
"Peter?...Is that you?" The person from the other side of the small road asks.
Peter's shoulders start rising worried up.
Then with furrowed eyebrows he turns around against the person.
"Papa?" He says with increased heartbeats and looks at the blond man with confusion written over his face.
Steve dropped the jaw of seeing Peter's face with a small worried smile.
"Wow-...It's you...I-..." Steve starts saying while walking against him across the road, which makes Peter to shake his head.
"No it isn't... I'm just a mere clone of your son... And I'm-..." Peter starts saying and inhales deeply while his eyes start tearing up. The young man blinks his eyes to try keep them away.
"I-...I'm sorry T-to B-be T-the reason...F-for you and D-dad to break U-up..." Peter stutters and furrows his eyebrows bothered while he looks away there a few tears fell from his eyes.
Despite Steve stays on the middle of the road, he stops walking gasping and wides his eyes.
Peter sniffles while he wipes his eyes with the arm. He would do everything to run into Steve's arms. But, he can't. Steve has never been his father even though his memories tries telling him otherwise.
"It's...It's not your fault Peter..." Steve starts saying with lowered voice before he gulps and walks slowly against Peter.
Peter shakes his head.
"Of course it is! Otherwise you two would live together now... I'm the mistake who broke your relationship" he protests and glances at Steve.
The muscular man shakes his head and places his hand at Peter's neck from the front.
" Don't ever blame yourself... Tony and I've had our problems since years back..." Steve starts saying which makes Peter to raise an eyebrow.
"No you didn't... You've had the perfect relationship... I-...Or I mean-... Peter wished he would find someone to have like what you had"
Steve exhales snorting with a smile.
"Sorry to pop the bubble for you...But-... No... We never had the perfect life as we tried make you believe. We did our best to keep our problems away from you. So, you wouldn't worry about us." Steve shrugs.
Peter tilts his head.
"Like what? What kind of problems did you have?"
Steve kept his smile few seconds before it dropped.
"Well-... Tony's mood went up and down all the time... One minute he could be very positive and wanted to spend time with his family... The next minute he stayed at the lab hours and even days without sleep... Then he could show up drenched in alcohol and yelling at me for the smallest thing... I don't know if you remember... But I was away like two month when you were about eight years old?"
Peter nods.
"Yes... You were called up for military service in another country... I remember how proud I was with a father who helped others" he smiles.
Steve chuckles a slightly bothered.
"Thanks...But sadly no"
"No?" Peter tilts his head.
Steve looks seriously into Peter's eyes.
"I had dumped Tony... You don't need to hear the reason why I wasn't a part of your life during that time... But-... I came back and gave Tony a new chance... I mean... I missed you both. And I felt I was never good enough without him. So, I came back and pretended that period of my life never happened" Steve explains which make Peter to gasp.
The blond hunk starts eyeing Peter's hair.
"And now I'm curious... Why do you have blue hair?" He adds which makes Peter to look asking at him, then giggling a little.
Peter touches his hair who has got little outgrowth since he'd dyed it. Dark roots with a slightly washed out blue on the lengths.
"Well-..." Peter smiles and is kind of relieved with the change of subject.
" I tried be my own person... Since it was obvious Tony saw me as a mistake he made... A mistake who couldn't replace his son, I figured I should be someone else...Who isn't Peter..." he shrugs.
Steve shifts the weight from one foot to the other while he crosses his arms and starts eyeing Peter.
"Does that mean you have changed your name?"
Peter chuckles and shakes his head.
"No, I haven't... That idea never crossed my mind..."
"If it would... What name would you choose?"
Peter hums thoughtfully.
"I think... Ben Reilly..."
Steve untangled his arms.
"Why?"
Peter shrugs.
"Ben after uncle Ben... And Reilly?... I don't know" he grins.
Suddenly Steve starts blinking faster while his eyes tear up.
"Oh my God... How could I be so stupid?!" He exhales.
Peter jolts.
"Papa?" He starts saying when Steve suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around him.
"I'm sorry Peter... I never meant to hurt you... Please... Forgive me..." Steve mumbles with closed eyes while a few tears fell.
Peter wides his eyes shocked.
Then he shivering start running his arms around Steve.
He furrows his eyebrows while lidding his eyes.
Finally. Finally he is there he should be. Perhaps he wasn't a mistake nonetheless. Maybe he is wanted somewhere.
Peter inhales shakily.
"I will-... You are forgiven..." he exhales smiling and relaxed in Steve's arms.