Love, Hart [Discontinued]

twenty one

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RUBY

"I love that name though!" I whipped my head around to the back seat where Gage laid with a phone propped up on his t-shirt cladded chest.

"Well apparently this blogger doesn't," he paused and read over the screen. "And 30,000 other people..."

"You're shitting me?" Aspen asked from the front seat, thrumming his fingers against the wheel to the song that played on the radio.

We've been on the road for a good hour now, playing games and reading random articles off of an app Gage had on his phone. The current article being: Top 100 Of The Most Unattractive Names In the U. S.

Gage took the backseat of his SUV while I took the front. I had to threaten to castrate him because he wouldn't let me sit here at first, but when he saw my sleepy glare that looked more like a constipated squint he gave up the front.

"I'm dead serious, man." Gage pushed the phone onto the console and I picked it up. "Number one."

At the top with the number one right next to it, Earnest was on the screen and was claimed to be the most unattractive name in the whole country. "That's so mean."

"It's only the truth, Bambi." Gage said as he slipped his arm beneath his head.

I caught sight of a car behind us, riding our bumper.

"Yeah well the truth is mean and cruel... and a bunch of bullshit." Jim was right under Earnest. "Jim makes more sense than Earnest. Imagine someone's grandfather coming across this and seeing their name at the top of this list."

"If that was me i'd laugh." Aspen chimed in.

Gage began to chuckle. "Imagine a sixty year-old Aspen, sitting on a queen anne chair and bursting a lung from laughing too hard."

I laughed into a grin. "Why a queen anne chair?"

"Isn't that what old people sit on?" Gage asked genuinely.

Gages imagination ran more wild than mine. He'd come up with these weird and abnormally distinct thoughts that he'd blurt out from time to time. I'm jealous that I didn't have a front row seat to every thought that popped up into his head.

I got a case of FOMO whenever he drifted off into his own head.

"No, they sit on regular couches and regular chairs like normal people. Maybe if they had a queen anne chair they'd sit in one, but I doubt that's what they sat on on a daily basis."

The car that was riding our bumper switched into the lane to our left and sped up, driving adjacent to us.

Gage shrugged. "I like my vision better."

"Of course you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Does it really have to mean anything?" Aspen twisted his feature into a really? Face and watched him in the rear view mirror.