Love, Hart [Discontinued]

twenty two

TW
(important-but short-chapter)

RUBY

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The name Alice Crawford and enigma had always been synonymous in my mind. She was an inkling of wondrous impossibilities. Her mind always veered from one thought to the next, each one far more crazy than the last.

She was a book of smiles, that everyone knew. But her stories often had pages ripped out and words scribbled over with black ink. Her book had been seen by many, and only read by the few she trusted.

Not one day went by where I had tried to replace the torn papers and suddenly turn her smiles from fake and forced, to real and bright. She was just the cover, and almost everyone judged her by it.

They saw a bright yellow book littered with sunshine and overwhelming happiness, not even bothering to flip a single page. Though she hadn't minded that, because if they did, they'd see the state of it.

The tears and remnants of the once merged papers.

The half written pages.

The lined out words and inked out paragraphs.

Light beamed when she spoke, like sunshine waking up from its slumber as the moon made haste to its rest. Talking to her was almost a blessing in itself, because nobody knew how happy she had been to speak to them.

She enjoyed the popularity from the kids at school. When people would greet her in the hallways when passing, she adored it. Her safety belt had been strapped on when entering the halls of Lake Forest High.

It was more of a home to her than the bleak walls she resorted back to at the end of her day. She was bitter most of the time, but that had been a little speck of her personality, she never meant for it to eat her up whole.

She vowed to be kind and approachable. The mere thought of her bitter side getting to people swallowed her up like a tornado. Alice would only let that side out when comfortable around people she knew were worthy of her trust.

Even if those people counted as one person; me.

The Pureto Rican girl who had just moved from Nevada straight to Illinois. I was new, she wasn't. She didn't have many friends, and neither did I. So, she dragged her ten-year-old self over to me, and claimed me as her friend for life.

For life.

Funny thing now that I thought about it.

She promised to be by my side for life, yet I was here, vacant of her existence. It was a sad thought, one I tried to ignore everyday.

Losing Alice was like losing my sunshine. Imagine going all your life with the suns warmth and light, then one day it was taken from you. And not by the hands of someone else, but by the hands of the sun itself.

That was the hard part about it all, I think.

Why wasn't this world enough for the sun to shine anymore? Had it been too scary? Too sad? Too ugly? That had to have been it because...What had been so bad that taking your own life had to be the revelation of it all?

I never understood. And still, I struggled to. I never had the desire to leave this earth until I witnessed someone close to me do it themselves...

Some would have said it was an accident what happened to Alice. A drug overdose was what they told me, but I knew better. I knew Alice.

Because prior to it all, she wasn't the same. Like all her pages had been ripped out til her cover held nothing but air and the spine dwindled. It was confusing to me, all of it.

How one morning she was doing great, then the next she was awful. Everyday after that party it had gone down hill. From the videos. To the sick, sick boys. The people at school. Everything was a mess, and all too suffocating for her and me.

Those same locker-lined halls that once became her safety net, in one night, turned into her own personal horror.

And still, I was oblivious.

While she was counting down her days, I was clueless. I was under the impression her Father-Vincent Crawford-was running amok again. Ordering her to do this, yelling at her to do that.

I was under the impression Felix Sampson had her wrapped around his murky little finger so tight he'd consumed her whole. Pushing her one day, kissing her bruises the next.

I was under the impression Alice Crawfords death had already come.

Long before the pills.

So, as that revelation suddenly hit me, I broke down once more. In the heavy, comforting arms of a boy I didn't know very well.

"I'm sorry." I apologized as tears broke from the weak dam of my eyelids. I didn't even care that we were in the middle of an airport anymore.

"Sorry for what?" Aspen asked, strolling on as if his hands weren't shaking beneath my hold. I wasn't heavy, I knew as much. So either it had been long since he hit the gym, or my distress was flaring up his own.

"I'm crying and we didn't even get to name our dog yet." I whispered, dejected.

"Stop that." He shut that down real quick. "Don't apologize for crying, Ruby. It's normal. We all do it."

"You cry?" I questioned, some-what taken aback. Of course I knew he cried, but it was hard to believe. This boy, so emotionless, so sad, shed tears? Ha! Funny.

His chest shook with silent laughter, "Hell yeah, I cry. You should've seen me when Aven forced me to watch The Notebook. A damn water fall."

I laughed a tad, appreciative that he was trying to lift my spirits. He was trying. He didn't even know why I had suddenly broken down but...he was trying.

My head tucked farther into his chest, and I chuckled, "Eres mi tipo de persona favorita, Aspen."

(You're my favorite kind of person, Aspen)

My eyes fluttered shut. Tears still fell, but less frequently now.

I wanted this day to be over. I wanted it to end. I wanted to be in bed, away from everything and everyone. Away from Vincent. Away from my thoughts. Away from this overbearing pain that seemed to love my chest so much.

I wanted everything to just stop for a second.

I wanted to breathe.

Aspen ran a hand through the curly hair at the back of my head, his breath fanning my ear as I drifted far off to sleep, "You're my favorite kind of person too, Ruby."

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such a short chapter, bleh. I know you guys have been wanting an explanation and I've been working on this chapter since the day I first started writing the book, so here :)

IF YOU SKIPPED THIS GO BACK AND READ IT. THANKS.

LOVE YOU,
soge.