Weirdness, Randomness and Yaoi :3

The Bread Bank.

Fudou took a step into the bakery and looked around. The sign outside the place said it was called "The Bread Bank", whatever that meant, so he decided to take a gander at what's in store.

What he wasn't expecting was to see everything was bloody penguin shaped.

He stared at the different bread products, completely speechless until an employee came to greet him.

That employee was his teammate and 'friend', Sakuma Jirou.

"Welcome to The Bread Bank. We sell bread, we sell loafs. We got bread on deck, bread on the floor. TOASTED ROASTE-" Fudou stared at the other and just interrupted him. "Shut the fuck up. Listen, I just need a Baguette and a B r i o c h e."

Sakuma glared back. "We don't have either of those. You can get the Gluten free White Bread, or the Penguin Brea-" Fudou's face twisted with disgust. "What the fuck is G l u t e n . Take that shit out." 

The other looked confused. "It's Gluten Free???" He said, but Fudou just glared at him angrily. "I don't CARE if it's free." He said, his tone filled with aggression.

Sakuma has lost all patience with this man. "Swear on your damn Y E E Z Y S, if you wanna fight, we gon fight." He said, cracking his knuckles.  Fudou smirked and cracked his own. "You tryna be on Worldstar?" He grinned. "You gonna record it?" Sakuma asked, but it was more of a challenge. Fudou then whipped out his Dollar Store Kiddies Play Action Cam. "Ye, I got my dollar store Camera ON." Sakuma just mouthed a 'Bro why the hell you got that, do you just carry that with you???'

All of a sudden the backdoor slams open, and the manager of this shithole walked out.

It was Kidou.

Kidou was the manager.

"What's the fucking situætion?" Fudou looked at him, and his face went from smug, to confused to 'Wait what the fu-' "What the hell do YOU want???" He spat, looking at Kidou. Kidou stared back, and even under his splatoon-lookin goggles you could see the smug look in his eyes. "I'm the motherfucking  M̸͈̙̪̗̺̱̊̆͋͌̋͜͝͝A̶̤̺͈̭̝̻͗̓̈́̍̈̅̎͗̈́̀̌͠N̷͉͍̘͎͉̘͂͊͗̚Ą̶̛̳̪̮͔̘̤̭̳͕̳̞̑̈́͌̾̿̾̅̈́̕G̶̰͙̈͛͐̌̆̿̕E̸̬̫̗̞̣̗͒̽͐̔͘͝ͅȒ̴̨͖̤̫̺̾͊̆͂͘͝ͅ!̴̧̡̩͚͔̟̝͔͈͙̗̣̮̀̒̊̑͐͠!̴̡̢̞̖̖̝̬̰̰̼͂͋̋́̄̍̓̚̕͝͝ͅ!̷̺̭̝͊́͝͠͝" He said. The manager part was INCREDIBLY distorted. Like irl Autotune. Fudou had no idea how tf he did that. Fudou shook his head. 

"... at the bread store??" Fudou asked, confused as shit.

Kidou took a deep breath.
"🅱️Ŗ̷̛̺̃̅̉̒̑͆̚͝ ̶̢̼͙̝̜͚͎͋̾̌̑͑̽̍͌͊̒͒͝͝£̷̢̩̠͖̟͙̖͗͒̈́̇̏̾͆̾͒̏͋̈́̐̽̓ ̴̛̯̳͕̗̠̗͒͂̓̄̆́͋̿̌́͒͘̚A̸͉̫̅ ̷̧͚̲̭̻̗̣̙͔͇͈̯̩͆̌̌̒̂͜D̷̺͇̤̮̫̮͌"

It was so incredibly autotuned that it caught Fudou even more off guard. Took him a sec to regain himself. 

"Tell him to take, the fucking GLUTEN, OUT THE BREAD." He stated. Kidou looked at him in disbelief. What kind of CRACK was this guy on????

Kidou inhaled. "Imma need you to shut that bull up chief. We can't take stuff out the bread. It is a SIN." he stated. Emphasis on the S i n. Fudou stared at him. "Why put it in in the first place??? I KNOW Y'ALL SMOKIN THAT PACK." His voice cracked when he said pack. Idk why I decided that, but y'know what screw you that's a headcanon now/j.

Sakuma spoke up again. "We got Crackers, no gluten." he spoke. Fudou's glare turned to him. "I hate crackers!!!" He said angrily. He was like a Karen at Walmart or smthin man. Kidou sighed in annoyance. "It's Gluten Free. Do you want the Gluten or Nah??" He asked, his tone was on the verge of snapping. Fudou's glare did not soften. "Hell nah!! You better take that Gluten out."

Sakuma was so pissed now. "L O O K. We have Whole Wheat, Gluten Free. Texas Toast, Gluten Free. TORTILLA-" Fudou was about to punch him in the face. "Fuck ALL THat. What 🅱itch ass town y'all from... where they got this 🅱ULLSHIT AT?????" Fudou did not like the Crackers very much.

"Inazuma Town." Kidou answered. "I KNEW IT." Fudou grunted. 

"Look, you can either take this yeasT or I'm calling the Police." Kidou said angrily. Fudou looked at him. "I'm going W E A S T." Sakuma turned to Kidou, distress on his face. "Nah, don't call the police I got a warrant..." he sweat nervously. Kidou's face looked confused for a sec.

This time, Fudou inhaled. "Honestly fuck y'all. I ain't see nobody act like this over no bread." He said. Kidou whipped his head around to look at him. "What the fuck are you sayin'!?" He asked, irritation present in his tone.

Fudou looked at him. "All I'm sayin is fuck y'all Bread, Fuck the Gluten and Fuck them Crackers." Sakuma cleared his throat. "The.. the Crackers don't have Gluten." He said.

Fudou looked at him. FINALLY NO GLUTEN.

"I'll take those." He said, taking a packet of Gluten Free Crackers. Sakuma smiled. "Ok that'll be fi-" Fudou was already walking away and flipped off Sakuma. "Nah fuck that I ain't payin." he said, opening the store door and SPRINTING down the street.

Sakuma and Kidou just stared at eachother.

"SO ABOUT THAT WARRENT-"

And thus, Fudou was banned from the Bread Bank.

I had a lot of fun writing this.