This Kiss

Chapter 54

Olivia sat in her room and reminisced about how good it felt to have Natalia in her arms. To feel the warmth of her pressed against her. Her lips tingled where they had made that brief contact with Natalia's. She pulled the letters from the drawer they were kept in once more. It must have been the hundredth time she had thought of reading them, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was trying so hard to move on from Natalia and reading them would be a step backward. Perhaps it would be the end of her fight. She couldn't do that. She had always protected her heart until Natalia, never letting anyone in completely. She had let Natalia in and the pain she was feeling as a result was something she would never risk feeling again. Not even for Natalia. At least she kept trying to convince herself of that. Knowing eventually, she would crack, but not yet. Not today.

She returned the letters to the safety of her bed side table and composed herself. Deciding to go for a walk. Walking down a path, she ran into Josh. He walked up to her. "Wait a minute, wait a minute."

"Hi."

"Hey. Too bad you had to go, cause I talked to Billy. Everything worked out great. He's very happy. We did a good thing today."

"Good."

"Thank you. You were a good friend."

"Well, I wanna be. I wanna be a good friend." She took a shuddering breath.

"You okay?"

"Not so much."

"Something you wanna talk about?"

"Not so much. But you were a good friend too."

"Come here." He draped his arm across her shoulders and the two walked up the path.

After leaving the hotel, Natalia went to the church and lit some candles. "Okay. I'm trying. I'm really trying to understand, and to make it through this next challenge. But this one is not about me, it's about my son. I just, I don't know how to let him go. This isn't just letting him make his own choices, this is him going away to war. What if he gets hurt, or what if he doesn't come back, It's just too much. It's too much to ask of a mother. He's a grown man, and I can't stop him, and he needs to make his own decisions, but I feel like I haven't taught him enough. Cause I feel like there hasn't been enough time. So, if he's gonna go, and I can't be with him, please, please promise to watch over him every day, and to teach him all the things that I didn't, and to keep him safe. Amen."

After walking with Josh, Olivia thought a jog might do her some good. She was jogging along a path in the park when she came upon Matt sitting on a bench. "Come on, I'll race you to the bridge."

He looked up at her. "If you wanna race to the mini mart for ice cream you're on."

"What happened to Mr. healthy and his bicycle?'

"Not in a bicycle kind of mood today."

Olivia sat beside him. "Ooo. Okay. Go ahead, what's wrong?" Matt didn't say anything. "What? Come on, you always talk to me when I'm feeling crappy."

"My ex-wife just told me that she's marrying her ex-husband, Billy."

"Ah, yeah I know I, Oh I'm sorry."

"Oh well ya know, it's not like I didn't see it coming. I was the one who messed up. So uh, there you go."

"No, I mean I, not that this is, anyway, I've been there done that."

"Yeah. Well, I'm okay. You just caught me in one of those moments."

"Well, I'm glad we got a chance to talk."

"Well, I think I'm gonna go get on my bike."

"Good." Matt walked away in a slightly better mood. Olivia sat for another minute, just as she was getting up, her phone rang out. She looked at the caller ID and debated whether to answer. Deciding she couldn't ignore this woman even if she tried, she answered, still breathing a little heavy from her jog. "Hello."