This Kiss

Chapter 105

The following day was Emma's all about me presentation. She had a good visit with Dr. Boudreau the previous day. Although it was scary at first, she had really opened up and talked to the Doctor about all that was bothering her. Natalia had waited in the waiting room while Emma talked with Felicia.

Felicia had let Emma chatter about her day and normal kid stuff without asking any questions about how Emma was feeling or what she thought about the upcoming trial. Although those things needed to be address, Felicia wanted Emma to feel completely comfortable with her before bringing up those issues.

Once Emma started to slow down about her day and their trip to Chicago, Felicia had stepped out and gotten Emma a soda and some toys from the other room. She allowed Emma to play for a while and just observed before she asked her any questions.

Emma was playing with a couple of dolls when Dr. Boudreau joined her on the floor. Felicia spoke softly to the girl. "Emma, would you like to talk about how you're feeling about the trial on Monday?"

Emma stopped playing with the doll and just starred at the floor for a few minutes before answering. "I'm scared." She whispered before picking up the doll and continuing to play as if she had said nothing.

"What are you scared of?" Felicia asked gently.

Emma didn't answer right away, instead she focused on the doll in her hand. After several long moments she finally spoke. "I don't want to see him."

"Are you scared to see him?"

"Yes." Emma replied softly.

"You know he can't hurt anyone there right? There will be police officers there to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone."

"But...." Emma shook her head, unable to ask what she really wanted to.

"But what Emma? It's okay, this is just between you and me." She prodded gently.

"I don't want the bad dreams to come back. Auntie Doris made them go away, but if I see him they might come back."

Felicia was once again taken aback by a member of the Spencer-Rivera family. How was this little girl smart enough to know that seeing the man that hurt her mother could possibly trigger her nightmares. "You're absolutely correct Emma. It's a very real possibility that the bad dreams could come back. I won't lie to you about that, however, your moms told me that your Auntie Doris will stay with you for as long as you need."

"I know, but I don't want them anymore. They feel real."

"What happens in your dreams Emma?"

Emma shook her head and closed her eyes tight; she didn't want to think about the bad dreams, about the nights when her mommy dies, or the times that Rafe gets shot. Although everyone did there absolute best to keep any details from Emma, she had heard plenty of their conversations. She had heard Natalia crying and asking God why he allowed her wife and son to come so close to death. She had heard her sister crying in her sleep and screaming about already losing one mother and not willing to lose another. She had heard Rafe calling out in the night, begging Frank not to kill Olivia, to take him instead. She may not know all the details, but she knows enough. Enough to make the nightmares more than just about her mommy getting hurt. She knows more than anyone thinks she does. More than she's willing to tell.

Felicia gently touches Emma's arm making the girl snap her eyes up and out of her own thoughts. "It's okay Emma. You can tell me. It might not make it all better, or make the dreams go away, but sometimes talking about them helps. Can you tell me just one thing?"

Emma takes a long slow breath and then speaks in almost a whisper. "Nobody thinks I know what happened but I do, only not really, and in my dreams my head fills in the blanks and it's never good."