A Court of Wings and Fate

38. Locked Up Past

    Estelle managed to hide the shuddering of her breath as they arrived at the cabin. Mikael glanced around warily, not removing his arms from her. She lifted her face to the sky, staring at the few visible stars.

    They shed soft light through the clouds, illuminating the falling snowflakes. Estelle sucked in long draughts of the crisp, fresh air, letting it calm her down. A cold breeze blew and Estelle shivered, despite the heat radiating from Mikael.

    "Let's go inside, Batsy," Mikael murmured. "You're cold."

    She nodded and he ushered her to the front door. As soon as they stepped inside, a fire crackled to life on the hearth. Candles and faelights lit up. The floor warmed beneath their feet. Mikael let go of her as he examined their surroundings.

    Estelle headed down the short hallway and entered one of the bedrooms. She closed the door and locked it. "I need clothes," she whispered. "Something warm, and not a dress."

    At once, a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt appeared on the bed. Estelle stripped her dress off and pulled the other clothes on with a sigh of relief. She scrubbed at her face in frustration.

    I should've stayed. That party was for Mikael and I. Why couldn't I just get myself under control? It's a stupid dress. Why did I let myself get worked up over it? Estelle scolded herself.

    "Batsy, you all right?" Mikael called.

    She opened the door and found him waiting just outside. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

    Mikael cupped her face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. "You don't need to apologize. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

    Estelle shook her head. "I don't think so. I feel better now that I'm out of that dress."

    "Why did you wear one if it makes you uncomfortable?"

    "Celeste, Sienna, and the shadows wanted me to." Estelle looked back at the gown. "It's beautiful. I wish I could stomach wearing it."

    "Why can't you?"

    She hesitated, then shook her head again. "It doesn't matter." Estelle knit her brows, finally taking in his own outfit. "Emerie finished your leathers. That's why the shadows wanted me to match you."

    She backed up, letting herself examine him fully. The new leathers were reminiscent of his old ones, sculpted to his body and flaunting the hard muscles beneath. The panels of leather were dyed white and accented with gold. All of the buckles were gold as well.

    Estelle pursed her lips, her eyes wandering towards his face. The white leather complimented his sunkissed complexion. Mikael's eyes were dark with concern. Umbra hugged his arm tightly, now visible about his sleeve.

    "If I were to paint you, I would paint you in those, Feathers," Estelle said. "You look every bit the angel prince that you are."

    Mikael smiled. "I'll let you do that sometime. But, Estelle," he took her hands in his own and they sat on the bed. "There is something bothering you. Pushing it aside won't help you get past it." Estelle averted her gaze. Mikael tipped her chin up. "Don't walk away from me, Batsy. Tell me what's going on. You can trust me."

    "I don't want to talk about it."

    "But you need to." Estelle looked away again. "Does it have something to do with Ze'ev and the five males you killed? The scars on your wings? Why you don't wear dresses? Why you rarely sing?" She stiffened, meeting his gaze. "Tell me what's going on. Please."